Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

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Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

Release Date: January 29, 1988

Genre: Comedy, Horror

Director: David DeCoteau

Writer: Sergei Hasenecz

Starring: Linnea Quigley, Andras Jones, Robin Stille, Brinke Stevens, Michelle Bauer

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Most filmmakers are lucky to have a handful of movies they’ve done in their career. Some are even lucky to at least get one. For example, my favorite director John Carpenter has twenty one film credits to his resume. Another filmmaker I love, Frank Henenlotter has ten. Where am I going with this? I was reading some information about a B movie filmmaker by the name of David DeCoteau. He got his foot in the door in the movie business at age nineteen working for Roger Corman and quickly worked up the ranks to where he was directing movies. According to IMDB, DeCoteau has one hundred and fifty directing credits! The movies he directs ranges from horror to science fiction to even Christmas family movies made exclusively for television. To answer as to how DeCoteau has been able to direct so many films is according to Charles Band, filmmaker and founder of such b movie horror companies as Empire Pictures, Urban Classics and currently Full Moon Features is that DeCoteau is, “hard, fast and stays under budget.” DeCoteau has directed many films for Charles Band throughout the years. His most famous film is “Puppet Master III: Tulon’s Revenge” which is regarded as the best movie in the Puppet Master franchise (I concur. It’s my favorite). For this edition of “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review” we’re going to look at another popular movie of his that has had a huge cult following for the last thirty years. That movie is 1988’s “Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama” (try saying that five times fast)!

I know what you’re thinking about the title and let’s get this out of the way now. This is not a softcore adult film! This could be described as a sexy horror comedy that bounces all over the walls, or in this case bumpers. The story is about three nerds who sneak over to the Tri-Delta Sorority House. They are watching the initiation of two new members getting spanked by the head of the chapter named Babs. The boys enter the house and watching the initiates hose down after getting a whipped cream spraying. Essentially they are caught by Babs. As punishment, they have to go with the two initiates named Lisa and Taffy to steal a bowling trophy from the local bowling alley. If they retrieve a trophy, the boys will not be reported to the police for their voyeurism and Lisa and Taffy will get into the Sorority. Unbeknownst to them, Babs’ father runs the mall where the bowling alley is at so she and the other sisters can watch their every move through the security cameras. Inside the bowling alley they come across a biker looking punk named Spider who is stealing money from the register and the arcades. Spider uses her crowbar to break the chain into the trophy room. From there, the boys and the pledges grab the biggest trophy on the shelf. On accident, the bowling trophy falls to the ground and breaks. Smoke beings to come out from the trophy and out appears an imp. The imp thanks them for releasing him and grants wishes to the group. A couple of them take advantage of this offer. Turns out their wishes would be fake and the imp starts his night of terror among the group by turning two of the sisters into she-demons and electrifying all the doors in the alley to prevent anyone from escaping. Now the survivors must figure out how to either escape or defeat the imp.

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This straight to video movie stars Linnea Quigley in her first starring role as Spider. She is another scream queen legend as fans will recognize her from her supporting roles in “Return of the Living Dead,” “Night of the Demons” and “Silent Night: Deadly Night.” The rest of the cast features Andres Jones as Calvin, Hal Havens as Jimmie, John Stuart Wildman as Keith (the three nerds), Robin Rochelle (Stile) as Babs, Kathi O’ Brecht and Carla Barron as Rhonda and Frankie, the other sisters in the sorority, Michelle Bauer as Lisa and Brinke Stevens as Taffy. There is a special appearance from George “Buck” Flower as the janitor of the Bowl-A-Rama. Flower is known for always playing the hobo in such films as the “Back to the Future” movies and in many of John Carpenter’s movies such as “The Fog,” “Escape From New York,” and “They Live!”

“Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama” is as much of a punk film as Linnea Quigley’s appearance in this. It breaks a lot of rules and lacks consistency. It makes up for it with its sheer delight of goofiness, beautiful looking girls and gore. There’s not much logic in this movie as to why the imp turns two of the girls into demons with one of them a copycat of the bride of Frankenstein and how an imp got stuck in a bowling trophy, although the explanation as to how the imp came to be and its purpose is told through a story by the janitor. If you can ignore all that, you’ll enjoy the movie a little better. DeCoteau made this movie in reportedly nine days which would show why he continues to get directing work.

The imp is a tiny little blue creature with a giant mouth filled with teeth. It reminds me of the donkey from “Shrek” voiced by Eddie Murphy. Speaking of the voice, the imp does sound a lot like Eddie Murphy. I’ve heard people say he’s sounds like Barry White, but it’s not really a deep of a voice. You don’t see the imp move around. He appears in the same shot for most of the movie with the exception of a few scenes where he is tripping Jimmie or he’s behind the bowling alley taunting Babs. His dialogue and jokes are as stereotypical as they can be.

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Speaking of stereotypes, they are in each character. You have two of the nerds (Calvin and Keith) who wear thick glasses and goofy hair and you have Jimmie who reminds me of a mix between Chris Farley and John Candy without the physicality. You have Lisa and Taffy the gorgeous pledges and you have Babs who is the prissy and mean girl of the sorority having her fun at humiliating the pledges. And then you have Spider who you know right away is going to be the heroine of the film. She’s tough and doesn’t have time for games. However, as the movie progresses, Spider shows a sense of vulnerability and confiding with Calvin as to how they are going to get out. That’s a credit to Quigley and the characters she has played previously before this film.

With Quigley being the star, the rest of the cast were decent given the material they were given. You can tell they are playing to the script and the concept of the movie. The dialogue is pure 80s cheese with many one liners and zingers coming from Quigley. Buck Flower also provides comedic relief as he spends much of the film trying to get himself out of a room he locked himself into and when he comes across Spider and Calvin gives the hilarious story of the imp and the person who summoned him.

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As I mentioned earlier, the film is not a softcore porn movie, but it does have a lot of sexual overtones. Yes, you have naked women in the beginning and the middle of the movie, but it’s much more than that. First you have Babs spanking Lisa and Taffy and getting a kick out of it. You have the lonely (and presumably virgin) nerds who get a pleasure out of the sheer sight of watching Lisa and Taffy taking a shower. You have the setting of the movie, a bowling alley. There’s so much sexual imagery and thought with the setting. You have bowling balls, bowling pins, gutters……well you get the idea. Finally you have Keith who makes a wish to hook up with Lisa and gets more than what he wished for. What he thought would be exciting in fulfilling a dream becomes a horrible nightmare.

With the exception of the flaws I mentioned earlier the only other gripes I have about this movie is the pacing. It starts to slow down during the third act of the movie. I started to get a little bored and was eagerly waiting for the climax of the movie to be done with. Also, I felt the creative death scenes in the movie could’ve used a little more depth. There’s not much blood and gore in this movie, which is ok. However, you should see the death scene go all the way through. One death scene kicks into another scene just as the victim is screaming for her life.

If you’re looking to watch an 80s horror movie that is out of the ordinary, look no further than “Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-A-Rama.” If you’re lucky to find this get a group of friends together along with a few six packs or other preferred drinks of your choice and enjoy this wild and over the top movie. You won’t need to get drunk to understand what is going on in the movie. Don’t be one of those people who tries to use their brain to figure out what David DeCoteau is trying to get out of this movie. You’ll end up giving yourself a headache. Think of it a rule breaking, stereotypical piece of horror comedy that you may end up liking. If you don’t like it, that’s OK. You can blame me. At least I tried to convince you to watch something unconventional.

TRIVIA

  • In the Static-X’s song “I’m With Stupid”, Linnea Quigley’s line from the movie “Yeah, it was…very stupid.” is sampled.
  • Director David DeCoteau wanted to work with Linnea Quigley so much that he handed her the script and told her she could play any character she wanted. She eventually decided on Spider.
  • Shot in twelve days.
  • The budget was too low to rent the bowling alley during peak daytime hours, so the cast and crew had to wait till the bowling alley closed at 9pm and shoot all night till 9am.
  • The movie was released in the UK on VHS under its original title, “The Imp”.
  • The janitor tells a story about a man named Dave McCabe. This was director David DeCoteau’s alternate name when he directed adult films.
  • The trophy, although appearing to be metallic, is actually made of balsa wood.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Felta Delta

Babs The Dominatrix

Should Consider Prison Work

We Were Only Looking

Saw That In A Movie

Midnight Whimp Bowling League

Don’t Panic

What’s Your Name?

He’s A Big One

Ain’t No Freakshow

Anything Your Fat Little Heart Desires

I Crack Me Up

I Have Your Pants

Very Stupid

The Imp

We’re Trapped In Here

Listen For Us

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The Last Boy Scout

The Last Boy Scout

Release Date: Decemeber 13, 1991

Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime

Director: Tony Scott

Writers: Shane Black (Story & Screenplay), Greg Hicks (Story)

Starring: Bruce Willis, Damon Wayans, Chelsea Field, Noble Willingham, Danielle Harris, Halle Berry

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

It’s been awhile since I’ve done an action movie. It’s been awhile since I’ve done a buddy movie. For the next edition of “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review,” I decided to review an action/buddy movie. I was reading up on Shane Black, who has been a long time writer and has now gone into film-making with his last release being the 2018 summer film “The Predator” (Black was in the original film as Hawkins). He sold his first script to Hollywood while he was finishing up college at UCLA. That film became “Lethal Weapon.” The success of “Lethal Weapon” opened the door for Black and was soon writing scripts and they were being turned into movies left and right. One of his scripts would become an underrated action buddy film that has the spirit of “Lethal Weapon.” That movie was 1991’s “The Last Boy Scout.” I happened to check it out on Hulu in its remaining days before it expired. I couldn’t remember the last time I saw the movie, but since I wanted to do an action oriented movie review I felt this was the perfect choice. For those who haven’t seen it before, let me give you a brief synopsis.

“The Last Boy Scout” stars Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans. Willis is a chain smoking private detective named Joe Hollenbeck. Fed up with the way his life is going and is estranged from his wife Sarah (Chelsea Field and daughter Darian (Danielle Harris) he takes a job off a friend of guarding a stripper/prostitute named Cory (Halle Berry). Despite not knowing the full context as to why he needs to be a bodyguard, he takes the job and watches her. During the night, he comes across Cory’s boyfriend Jimmy Dix (Damon Wayans), a former professional football player who was kicked out of the league for gambling and allegations of drug abuse. After a brief conflict Jimmy and Cory head back to his place, but Cory is involved in a fender bender as she pulls over, she is gunned down by a series of men. Joe and Jimmy team up to find out who is behind her murder and uncover a plot involving a corrupt politician (Chelcie Ross) and a crooked football owner (Noble Willingham). They have to figure out the connection between the two and what is the intended goal.

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“The Last Boy Scout” was directed by esteemed movie director Tony Scott who is known for directing blockbuster action movies such as “Top Gun,” “Days of Thunder” and “Crimson Tide.” If you’re familiar with his work, you’ll find his style and taste of shootouts, big explosions and constant ball busting humor all throughout this movie. A lot of people refer to this movie as a “Lethal Weapon” clone. I can’t argue with their analogy. It has all the familiar elements of “Lethal Weapon” especially since they were both written by Shane Black, but don’t let that premises keep you from enjoying this movie.

The title of the movie comes from a scene where Jimmy Dix signs an autograph for Joe’s daughter Darian. On the signature he inscribes the message, “To the daughter of the last boy scout.” Jimmy calls Joe a boy scout after seeing a picture of him with the President of the United States and finding out that Joe used to be a Secret Service agent. That part of Joe’s career plays an integral part in the story.

Bruce Willis plays Joe Hollenbeck in a similar fashion to his most famous character, John McClain.  He delivers wise crack after wise crack throughout the movie and doesn’t seem to mind the hostile reactions from those he is talking to. When he gets deep into the investigation and realizes the politician involved it becomes a personal vendetta for him since it was the particular politician that got himself fired from his previous job. Damon Wayans is on equal sitting of Willis as Jimmy Dix. He has plenty of quips of his own, but Wayans plays the role in a more serious tone. Jimmy feels a sense of responsibility for what happens to Cory and tries to help Joe track down the people responsible. Sometimes he gets in the way or does something he’s told not to do, but he redeems himself later in the movie when he has to start thinking like a detective.

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The supporting cast is good in their respective roles. Chelsea Field plays the distant yet concerned wife of Joe’s Sarah. Scream queen Danielle Harris plays Darian as a bratty teenager who despises her father. She plays a significant role near the climax of the movie. Halle Berry’s early performance as Cory is feisty. Other notable actors include Noble Willingham as Sheldon Marcone, owner of the Los Angeles Stallions which is the central team focused in the movie as well as the team Jimmy used to play for and Chelcie Ross as Senator Baynard, the politician involved in the plot. There’s some small appearances from Bruce McGill as Joe’s friend and partner Mike, Joe Santos as a police lieutenant who happens to get involved indirectly with Joe and trying to find out what Joe is doing and Kim Coates and Taylor Negron who play henchmen.

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While “The Last Boy Scout” is a fun little action flick with plenty of shootouts and explosions, it does have its flaws (like the majority of action movies). The script is borderline ludicrous which stretches to beyond believability. How the script would stack up if it were made today could be debatable, but for this time it’s not plausible. With action movies come typical clichés. You have Joe’s wife who is cheating on him and giving the old “You’re never around” speech and you have his daughter whose profanity laced tirades are instigated by just the mere sight of him. It gets old very quickly. And you have this sub plot of a police lieutenant and his subordinate starting their own investigation into Joe and Jimmy trying to find out what they’re up to and perhaps be the ones to crack the case. Finally, I did not like the climatic ending as it felt like something out of a cartoon. I think they could’ve done something better than what was shown on screen. I could go on, but if you can overlook these things and see the film for what it is you’ll enjoy it better.

Overall “The Last Boy Scout” is a funny and fun action movie. It’s a film that holds up by its sheer weight to be enjoyable. It’s not the most memorable film of Tony Scott’s films nor Shane Black’s scripts. It’s an artifact that is buried deep within the grounds of countless action movies. It’s worth watching once to see what Scott and Black were attempting to do. Unfortunately, the movie was not a success to green light a series like what they’ve done with “Lethal Weapon”. Ironically, Wayans plays Murtaugh in the aforementioned television series. I’m sure it had something to do with his role as Dix. Everything always comes full circle.

TRIVIA

  • Although they play buddies in the film, Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans hated working with each other.
  • Composer Michael Kamen hated the film when he first saw it. The only reason he provided the score was out of his personal friendships with Bruce Willis and producer Joel Silver.
  • The conversation between Joe and Jimmy about the 650 dollar pants was taken from a deleted scene in Lethal Weapon (1987). Murtaugh’s daughter is wearing an expensive dress for a New Year’s Eve party and he asks, “It doesn’t have a little television in it?” She says, “No”, and Murtaugh mutters, “I am very old.”
  • A riot nearly occurred during filming at the Los Angeles Coliseum. Hundreds of extras were recalled for a second day of shooting, but a last minute decision was made to cancel the recall. The extras were not informed of the decision and arrived expecting a day of work. They were refused pay by the production, and as discontent grew, they began to surge against the barrier that surrounded the set. Riot police were called in to disperse the crowd.
  • Jack Nicholson was the first choice for the part of Joe Hallenbeck.
  • Mel Gibson was considered for the role of Jimmy Dix.
  • Billy Cole’s last words “Ain’t life a bitch?”, before committing suicide, was originally “I’m going to Disneyland.”, a common phrase among Super Bowl winners.
  • Joe (Bruce Willis) mentions “reindeer goat cheese pizza”, which Willis also mentioned in Hudson Hawk (1991).
  • Released in U.S. theaters the day before the one-year anniversary of the day that Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) was released in U.S. theaters. This film also starred Bruce Willis and Damon Wayans as buddies, although they simply provided the voices of two characters.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Witnessing The Death of Football

Pretty Good Cigarettes

Remember That

She’ll Be Screwing Them By The Time She’s Fourteen

I’m Not The One That Hates You

Go Stick Your Head In The Speaker

Filling In

Ask Your Wife

Leather Pants

New Invention Called A Razor

Circumvent

The Man Who Invented Scrabble

Goat Cheese Pizza

What Happened To Your Face?

Billions, That’s Nine Zeroes

You Couldn’t Nail A Two Dollar Whore

Think Jimmy

I Want To Know What’s Going On

 

 

Mr. Stitch

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Mr. Stitch

Release Date: August 17, 1996

Genre: Sci-Fi

Director: Roger Avary

Writer: Roger Avary

Starring: Wil Wheaton, Rutger Hauer, Nia Peeples, Ron Perlman, Michael Harris

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

For those that have followed this blog from the beginning, you might recall a review I did for a Sci-Fi Channel original movie entitled “Evolver!” If you haven’t seen the post before, don’t worry you still can. All my posts are archived 😊 It’s one of my favorite made for television movies. The movie represented a time in the 90s when the Sci-Fi Channel was really coming up in the cable world and its popularity would spawn its own original movies. Another movie I recall seeing when it first came out that I discovered again was a movie called “Mr. Stitch!” I remember seeing the trailer for it where it was just a man all wrapped up in giant bandages in front of an all-white screen. As an impressionable pre-teen during the day I was overwhelmingly excited to see this. I don’t recall watching it when it premiered, but I remember I was quite fond of the idea, concept and execution. Watching it again not too long ago I double down on my comments. For a movie that is twenty-three years old, it still holds up despite some moments of outdatedness. With that let’s get to the synopsis of “Mr. Stitch!”

“Mr. Stitch” stars Wil Wheaton, best known for playing Ensign Wesley Crusher in “Star Trek: The Next Generation” as an androgynous human made from body parts and skin from various donors and chooses to be a man despite not having the sexual organs of one. He was created by a group of scientists led by Dr. Rue Wakeman (Rutger Hauer). He’s referred to only as ‘Subject 3.’ Later he chooses a name for himself. He is now ‘Lazarus’ after the biblical character.  At first, Lazarus is obedient and follows commands and performs his tests.  As Lazarus learns more about himself he begins having memories and nightmares from the lives of his donors. They offer clues as to the identities of those who inhabit his body while simultaneously torture him. This creates a rift between his relationship with Wakeman. Wakeman realizes he is losing control over Lazarus as he is developing independent logic and feeling. Lazarus realizes that Wakeman is hiding secrets from him causing him to no longer want to work with him. Psychologist Dr. Elizabeth English (Nia Peeples) is assigned to help Lazarus deal with his tension between Wakeman and deal with his nightmares and with it develop a sense of trust with other humans. They start to get close until Lazarus mentions a phrase that triggers English as it is a phrase that said to her from her deceased science partner and lover Dr. Frederick Texarian (Ron Perlman). Lazarus starts to be overwhelmed by being trapped in the ward and requests to see the outside world which is immediately rejected by Wakeman. He sneaks out and investigates Wakeman’s true intentions with him. Lazarus understands what his purpose is and must find a way to stop Wakeman’s plans as well as make amends with English.

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Written and directed by Roger Avary, “Mr. Stitch” is essentially a modern day retelling of “Frankenstein.” You have the Scientist who is looking to create a human being from dead (in this case created by tissue and organs of deceased humans) and you have the monster, which in this case is aware, functional and intelligent compared to the monster of the classic tale. It has the same elements in terms of the scientist creating this new life and teaching it how to interact with others and how to function with the purpose that is only known to them. You have the monster that is trying to learn, but starts to become resilient and unbalanced. The two will clash into this tug of war over power and control.

About ninety percent of the film takes place in this ward where everything is white. The scientists wear white suits and Lazarus is bandaged in all white. To me it represents both the first light we see when we are born as well as a state of purgatory where we are trapped in this area and are waiting to get to the outside of what lies ahead (for Lazarus this would be the outside world). We don’t see the outside of the ward until the near climax of the movie and several flashback scenes that Lazarus experiences as nightmares. Only other color we see in the movie is a black couch similar to a top hat that acts as Lazarus’ bed and the snot colored goo that comes out from a giant eyeball called the Observation Eye that watches Lazarus’ every move and from a device that measures and records his brain wave pattern when he is asleep (both are destroyed by Lazarus in a fit of anger).

Rutger

The look of Lazarus is comprised of numerous pieces of skin from all different colors of humans (Black, White, and Brown). His eyes have different pigments of color. His hair is long and frazzled, almost like a witch. Although he is androgynous, he identifies himself as man due to his strength and anger that is to be more in common with a man than a woman. I give the makeup department credit for creating a creature like this to represent that we are all human begins regardless of race, color, sex and creed.  I think that was Avary’s intention as well.

“Mr. Stitch” has some unique shots and visuals. What stood out to me are the choice of lenses that were used in certain scenes. For example, the “think tank” office of the scientists is shot like they are working inside a bubble. To me, the bubble represents the inner circle of those who are in it as to their research and their plans as to what to do with the research they are developing. The climax scene is deep underground and has a glossy watery effect that surrounds the confronting characters. Based on your impressions it gives you either a dream like effect or an effect if someone where high on drugs.

The pacing is a little uneven, but it doesn’t take away from the plot. Music is incorporated in practically every scene and it’s appropriate for what is happening in the scene. There is heavy metal during Lazarus’ bouts of anger or paranoia. There is a dreamy soft guitar sound during a hypnosis scene. Each piece of music sets the tone for what is happening.

The movie contains a very small cast with the majority of screen time belonging to Wil Wheaton and Rutger Hauer. Both of them I felt did a good job with their performances despite some flaws in the script. Wheaton starts out as very calm and compliant as he performs the tests that Hauer has him do. He’s quite intelligent by quickly developing his self-awareness and heightened sensibility. He is hostile to the scientists, but finds a soft and calming nature when he is around Dr. English. He develops a deep sense of trust and in some cases, love when they are together. Wheaton is able to channel his emotions of the character in the appropriate scenes throughout the film.   Hauer portrays Dr. Wakeman as a teacher and somewhat of a father figure to Lazarus. He is cautious with his responses to Lazarus’ questions and steers him away from anything he sees as a threat to his control of him. Hauer was very unhappy with the writing of the movie that he disregarded the script and began to improvise his scenes to match what he felt was more logical of his character and the story. I honestly can’t tell you that I was able to pick out which scenes he improvised, but that’s what makes him a great established actor was that he knew more about the character than what Avary had on paper.

Nia

The rest of the cast includes Nia Peeples as Dr. Elizabeth English who is brought in to help Lazarus deal with his dreams and nightmares. She builds a rapport with Lazarus during their sessions together. As they get to know each other, she becomes slightly distraught at what she discovers about him. Her feelings for him come full circle in the climax of the film. Peeples is very attractive and gives a soft touch to the films constant hostility between the two main characters. The other main performance comes from Michael Harris as General Hardcastle, who is the head of a secret government organization called ‘The Outfit’ and is in charge of the project. He shovels billions of taxpayers’ dollars to Wakeman and his team with the goal of creating a superior human being that could be used not only in warfare but to take down the bureaucrats in Washington so he can remodel the government in his own vision. He is the real antagonist of the movie. This was perhaps the weakest and most laughable performance of the movie. His dialogue reminds me of something a professional wrestler would say, but he gets what’s coming to him and it’s very satisfying. There is also small appearances from Ron Perlman as Dr. Texarian, the original team leader of the Stitch Project, Taylor Negron as Dr. Alan Jacobs who replaces Dr. English and gets a not so warm welcome by Lazarus and Make Up Effects Guru Tom Savini as a scientist.

“Mr. Stitch is available to watch on YouTube since it’s hard to find any video copies. I think you would enjoy watching this made for television movie. It’s a creative take on an original monster story. It doesn’t drag and keeps your attention with every scene. I wish the Sci-Fi Channel would make more of these compelling films than cheap monster movies involving five headed sharks or a yeti with the speed of a greyhound dog. Really makes you miss the 90s.

 

TRIVIA

  • Part way through production, Rutger Hauer completely discarded the script and refused to do any scenes from it. The majority of his scenes were improvised by the actor. Later, Roger Avary was forced to rewrite the remaining script to match up with Rutger’s footage.
  • This movie was the first “original” aired by The Sci-Fi Channel (now Syfy). It would be a few more years before they started advertising their made-for-TV movies as “Sci-Fi Originals”, but they did advertise this quite a bit as new and never-before-seen.
  • Was meant to be a pilot for a proposed television series. After Rutger Hauer gave up on the movie, the series was sunk.

AUDIO CLIPS

Story of Frankenstein

Do We Have Any More Weights?

Reference To A Word I Have No Meaning

I Do Seem To Have A Knack For Fisticuffs

An Improvement of Nature

I’ve Chosen A Name

Residue Thought

Feet First

Classified Territory

I Dream About An Elephant

Happy To See You

I Will Skin You Alive

I Want To See The Outside

Should Be Teaching Preschool In Florida

Jacobs Tortured

Get Out Of The Car

General Hardcastle’s Speech

Ironclad

Ironclad_(2011_movie_poster)

Ironclad

Release Date: July 26, 2011

Genre: Action, Adventure, Drama

Director: Jonathan English

Writer: Jonathan English (Story & Screenplay), Stephen McDool (First Screenplay), Erick Kastel (Co-Screenplay)

Starring: Paul Giamatti, James Purefoy, Brian Cox, Kate Mara, Derek Jacobi, Charles Dance

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Here at “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review,” I’m always searching to find movies from a genre I have yet to tackle. The majority of movies I’ve reviewed since I started this last year are Horror movies (mainly because I watch them more than anything else), but my focus this year is to try to find movies from a variety of genres and eras. Throughout the coming months I plan on diving into numerous movies from the Universal Monster Movie era to Westerns to Dramas, etc. As we approach the end of another decade in the 21st Century, I would like to review movies that have come out within this time frame. With that being said, I found a movie that was released in 2011 that I found on accident and after watching it was entertained. It’s an Action/Drama film set in medieval times that is loosely based on a historical event.  The movie is called “Ironclad.”

“Ironclad” takes place in England in the year 1215. The rebel barons have forced King John to sign and seal the Magna Carta, a document which upholds the rights and freedom of the people. Within months, King John refuses to abide by the terms of the Magna Carta and seeks to reclaim England under his rule with the assistance of Danish mercenaries. The barons, with the help of a small group of Knights Templar head to Rochester Castle, located near the coast which the King can bring in goods and supplies to the country. From their they make their last stand against King John and his army until reinforcements from the French arrive. Will they be able to withhold the army and survive or will King John prevail and punish those who defy his rule?

The movie features an ensemble cast. Paul Giamatti plays the ruthless King John. James Purefoy plays Thomas Marshal, the leader of the Knights Templar. Brian Cox plays Baron William d’Aubigny who leads the rebel group into Rochester. Derek Jacobi and Kate Mara are the royal couple of Rochester castle, Baron Reginald de Cornhill and Lady Isabel and Charles Dance makes a small appearance as Archbishop Langton, who gives the blessing of the group taking a stand against King John and uphold the terms of the Magna Carta.

 

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Let me start by saying this. “Ironclad” is a historically flawed film. Without saying too much that could reveal key plot points, there are a lot of inconsistencies between the movie and the historical time line of events. The army that is depicted in the movie that defends Rochester Castle is significantly smaller than the army that was documented. Other inaccuracies include the Danish army that King John uses in his quest to take back Rochester, the promises that were made to the Danes and the timeline of when the French would be arriving to assist the barons with defeating King John. I don’t know how much research the writers did when it came start the screenplay for this movie. Judging by the timeline and sequence of events, it sounds like not a lot of in depth research was done.

Putting all that aside, the movie is enjoyable to watch. Director Jonathan English manages to blend historical and period notices with blood, gore and mud. The first thing that struck me while watching this movie is the recreation of 13th century England. I was taken back by the beautiful landscape and beaches. The overcast weather with periods of rain and cold adds to the tension of the movie and is heightened by the stone-cold look of the castles. I’m not sure if the castles were real or if they were built sets, but they were as realistic as I’ve seen in a medieval themed movie.

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The acting is a little over the top, especially Giamatti’s performance as King John. He really did his best to portray King John as brutal, vengeful and spite who will stop at nothing to reclaim his “birthright” as the ruler of England. Some of it is laughable, but he puts in a good enough effort to where I’m not going to be too critical of him. Jason Purefoy is the strong, silent Templar leader Thomas Marshal who lives and dies by the rules of the Catholic Church. His oath is put to the test not only throughout the conflict, but by the seductive tactics of Lady Isabel. Speaking of Lady Isabel, Kate Mara does a decent performance. She is not very fond of her husband as she is in a forced marriage with no privileges. She becomes quite smitten with Thomas for his heroics and leadership. Brian Cox was my personal favorite performance as William d’Aubigny. He commanded each scene with passion, purpose and sometimes with a little humor. He feels a sense of responsibility to ensure the people of England are entitled to the freedoms bestowed by the Magna Carta and has a personal animosity towards King John since it was his hand that forced King John to sign the Magna Carta.

What “Ironclad” is known for is the constant battles that is amped up by huge quantities of blood, gore and mud that’s ever graced a screen. You’ll see limbs, body parts, people split in half and even a tongue cutting through the film’s 121 minute run time. There’s so much visceral and bodies piling up throughout the screen it would put “Saving Private Ryan” to shame. Some of the battles are hard to enjoy due to the headache inducing shaky cam techniques. That was the huge problem for me. This is in large part to director Jonathan English’s amateur experience in filmmaking. This would be the third movie he directed and the second major feature only to the 2006 European Horror film “Minotaur.”

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I can continue to nitpick other things about this movie including costuming, lighting, but we’ll leave that for another movie. Overall, I enjoyed “Ironclad.” Is a great movie? No. It never quite delivers on its promise, and though extremely competent it just can’t quite produce that true magic that better films can. That goes back to Jonathan English’s inexperience, but you can only get better at your craft the more films you make. If you can suspend disbelief about the historical timeline of this movie, you’ll enjoy it even more.

Is a great movie? No. It never quite delivers on its promise, and though extremely competent it just can’t quite produce that true magic that better films can. It is, however, a highly competent and interesting historical drama. I have some quibbles with costuming etc; but that kind of goes with the territory.

 

TRIVIA

  • Paul Giamatti filmed his role in seven days.
  • After the first attempt by King John’s army to take the castle, King John (Paul Giamatti) can be seen eating a peach in his tent. When the real King John died in October 1216, his death was attributed to poisoned ale, poisoned plums, or a “surfeit of peaches”.
  • According to director Jonathan English, Daniel O’Meara really did eat a beetle during the starvation portion of the siege, but he’s not sure the actor swallowed it.
  • Richard Attenborough, originally cast as Archbishop Langton, convinced the film’s creative team to utilize Wales’ Dragon Studios as the primary shooting location. However, he was forced to cancel his involvement with production after suffering a debilitating fall down the stairs of his home, complications of which led to his death.
  • Angus Macfadyen was initially cast in the role of Jedediah Coteral, but dropped out when the project was re-financed. He was replaced with Jamie Foreman.
  • Depicted as pagans in the film, the Danes were Christianized by that time. The bulk of King John’s mercenaries were not Danes but mostly Flemish, Provençals and Aquitainians.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Templars Without Tongues

King John

Forced Upon Me

Rebellion Or Revenge

Asking The French For Help

You See How He Talks To Me?

I’m No Soldier

Are You Sorry For What You Have Done?

Not Tolerate Drinking

With The Pope’s Blessing

You Better Hit Harder Than That

My Husband’s Appetite Doesn’t Include Me

England Belongs To Me

Great Deal Of Thinking

Goddamned Devils

Damn Your Templar Vows

Take This Castle

King John’s Speech

Black Caesar

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Black Caesar

Release Date: February 7, 1973

Genre: Action, Drama, Crime

Director: Larry Cohen

Writer: Larry Cohen

Starring: Fred Williamson, Gloria Hendry, Art Lund, D’Urville Martin

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Perhaps the most underrated and underappreciated filmmaker in cinema is Larry Cohen. He started out his career as a writer for studio-based television show to getting his opportunity to write and direct his own movies.  He was a pioneer of the independent film industry by creating the most innovating low budget movies of our time that dealt with social issues and commentary on American culture. His well-known films include “It’s Alive” which is about a mutant baby being born and “The Stuff” which is an intergalactic organism with the taste and texture of yogurt that gets the consuming public addicted.  Those films have become a staple in the horror community. Nowadays Cohen focuses more of screenplay writing and has written many scripts for some blockbuster movies (ironic since he’s always had a disdain for Hollywood).  After recently watching a documentary on Cohen’s career, there was one film that stood out as I was watching it that peaked my interest. It was a film from 1973 that is regarding by many as one of the best movies you’ve never seen before. The movie I’m referring to is called “Black Caesar!”

“Black Caesar” (or “Godfather of Harlem” as it was called in the United Kingdom) is a crime drama that tells the story of Tommy Gibbs (Fred Williamson). Tommy is raised in Harlem, New York city during the 50s. As a boy, he would be beaten by a cop named McKinney who would also throw racial slurs at him. The stigmatization of these incidents leads him to a path of crime. When Tommy becomes an adult in the 60s, he joins the mafia and becomes head of the black crime syndicate in Harlem. As his power and influence grows, Tommy splinters from the mafia starting his own empire and eliminating the competition. Like most crime films, as soon as Tommy reaches his peak, he starts to decline as numerous people are out to get him.

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“Black Caesar” was hailed as a critically acclaimed masterpiece for a low budget independent movie. The response from the viewing audience led Cohen to make a follow up film called “Hell Up In Harlem,” which would be released the same year in December.  The godfather of soul James Brown composed the music for the film which became a hit soundtrack and many musical pieces would be sampled by prominent hip hop musicians in the 90s. On average, the movie ranks in the Top 3 among Larry Cohen’s best films trailing behind the aforementioned horror flicks.

The film is garnered as a blaxploitation film which if you aren’t familiar with the term it means an ethnic sub-genre of exploitation movies in which African American characters and communities are the subject and are portrayed as the heroes rather than victims of brutality and segregation. The term was coined by Junius Griffin who was the head of the Los Angeles National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP) during this period. (1)  While technically a blaxploitation movie, I didn’t see it this way. I found “Black Caesar” to be an original crime film with flair and style. There is so much to enjoy from this movie. Everything works clockwork from the characters to the story to the action to the music. Being a fan of crime movies, I’m surprised it took me this long to discover this film.

There’s enough going on in this movie to please fans of gangster movies. There’s action, violence, colorful characters. It follows the same character arc as in the first two “Godfather” movies and “Scarface.” You have someone climbing the ladder and reaching the top of power only to slowly start falling down the mountain and crashing into the ravine.

Fred Williamson who plays Tommy owns the film throughout its duration. Much like Jim Brown and O.J. Simpson (in his early years of course) Williamson was a professional football player who played in the American Football League during the 60s and transitioned into acting after his playing days were over. He is strong, confident and handsome and he oozes of machismo all throughout this film. Through his brutal forceful tactics, he earns the respect of his fellow henchmen and the ire of the crime syndicates in New York. Always carrying his Mauser C96 “Red 9” pistol, Williamson dominates the screen as he sets out on his plan to create his own criminal empire and seek revenge on those who may have wronged him in the past. How Williamson turns out could have been overplayed or underplayed by an actor with more ego, but he brushes that aside and creates a magnifying character with a similar arc to Michael Corleone or Tony Montana. Williamson proves he can be a leading actor on many scales.

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The rest of the supporting cast is small but fit into the plot. You have Gloria Hendry who plays Helen, a singer that Tommy falls in love with and marries. As Tommy is building his gang, she becomes unhappy and tries her best to get him to stop while he can much to no avail. You also have D’Urville Martin who plays Reverend Rufus, a preacher who grew up with Tommy in the same building who gets some involvement with Tommy’s group but keeps his distance due to his oath to God and the Church. Then you have Art Lind who plays the bigoted cop McKinney. He is as dirty as they come, and Lind shows that throughout his scenes. He continues to berate and slander Tommy even during his ascension into the crime world. Tommy has the stomach to handle McKinney until the time comes to take him out once and for all.

The film is primarily shot in New York City and Harlem with one scene being shot in California at Larry Cohen’s house (which you will see appear in many of his films). Cohen, born and raised in New York City gives the audience an intimate look of life in the big city especially in its neighborhoods. Cohen was able to get a lot of scenes done in Harlem due to making deals with the local gangs and from there you see a part of New York City that isn’t shown much in today’s movies and television series. It shows the racial makeup and the tensions going on during the time. Remember, this was before the Civil Rights Act.

I will caution you that ‘Black Caesar’ is as graphic of a movie as it could be. Not so much in terms of violence, but there are suggestive themes and concepts. Obviously, there is a lot of racial slander between the characters, again in part due to the time period that the movie takes place. There is also a rape scene and a domestic violence scene that could make you uneasy. It sure did for me. These things would not pass today in our society and culture. I don’t think this movie would even be released in theaters today unless they cut a bunch of things out and clean up the language.

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James Brown wrote and compose the music to “Black Caesar.” The Godfather of Soul provides a mix of smoking R&B to the sound of funky disco. The music is appropriately fitted within the movie to give it emotion, character and intensity. Many people consider his soundtrack to be the best album Brown has ever released.

People credit Larry Cohen with the concept of “stealing” scenes. What “stealing” means in this context is the ability to shoot scenes with no permits. There were no permits for this movie, so everything that was shot was by stealth and trickery. For example, the overhead shots in the movie were done by setting cameras up on corner roofs of buildings or on light posts. The car chase sequence was a real car chase where roads weren’t blocked off for shooting and you had bystanders going about their business. The scene where Tommy is shot and is stammering throughout the road and sidewalks, you get a mixed reaction from people. Some in typical New York fashion ignore his cries for help while others express great concern or shock. You see some people reaching out to Tommy to see if he needs assistance. Getting those raw unscripted reactions from ordinary people heightens the quality of the movie.

If I had to rank the Top 10 Gangster Movies, I would put “Black Caesar” easily in the Top 5 or maybe in the Top 3. As stated in the beginning, it’s a movie with a lot of flair, and style. There’s enough going on to satisfy the gangster movie fan. Overall, it’s very underrated and entertaining. It’s a surprise gem that sadly gets overlooked due to the heavyweight titans of “The Godfather Trilogy,” “Scarface,” “Goodfellas,” etc. If you’re able to find this movie at your local movie store, Amazon or other streaming services, you should check this movie out. If you enjoy it, you’ll be ready to move forward in Larry Cohen’s film chronology which only gets better.

 

(1) James, Darius (1995). That’s Blaxploitation!: Roots of the Baadasssss ‘Tude (Rated X by an All-Whyte Jury). ISBN0-312-13192-5.

 

TRIVIA

  • Originally offered to Sammy Davis Jr., who turned it down.
  • When filming in Harlem, Larry Cohen was accosted by local gangsters who threatened to disrupt the shoot unless they were paid off. Instead, Cohen offered them small roles in the film. They helped so enthusiastically that they attended the premiere to sign autographs.
  • The name Caesar is never spoken in the movie.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Shine Em Up Good

Down And Out In New York City – James Brown Song

You’ve Never Seen Me

You’re The Big Brain

Sammy, Don’t Disfigure The Man

Sauce Needed Some More Meat

The Boss – James Brown Song

Never Fear

We’ll Make Sure The Garbage Is Picked Up

Play A Couple Tunes

Somebody Call Down For A Shine?

I Want Him Nice And Fat

Sleep Well, Mr. Gibbs

Who’s Lincoln?

Been Waiting 25 Years To Kill You

I Miss My Old Bed

Heal Him Lord

No Escape

 

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No Escape

Release Date: April 24, 1994

Genre: Action, Drama, Sci-Fi

Director: Martin Campbell

Writers: Richard Herley (Novel), Michael Gaylin and Joel Gross (Screenplay)

Starring: Ray Liotta, Lance Henriksen, Stuart Wilson, Ernie Hudson, Kevin Dillon

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

 

Wow! We’re already into the second review of 2019 (I promise I won’t be counting the number of reviews done)! For the next ‘Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review,’ we’re going back to the year 1994. During this year in cinema we had “Forest Gump.” “Pulp Fiction” and “The Shawshank Redemption” (just to name a few). Of course, those movies were mega blockbusters, and all competed for the Best Picture Award at the Oscars. 1994 also had some movies that were overlooked and turned out to be very good in this reviewer’s opinion. We’ll be reviewing one of those movies right now. This week’s review is the dystopian future action/sci-fi flick “No Escape!”

Directed by Martin Campbell, best known for making two of the best James Bond films (again in this reviewer’s opinion) “Goldeneye” and “Casino Royale,” “No Escape” is set in the year 2022 and stars Ray Liotta as John Robbins, a highly trained ex-Marine who is imprisoned for life for murdering his commanding officer. After breaking out of two Level 5 maximum security prisons he’s sent to a Level 6 facility. After holding the Warden at gunpoint in a punishment scene, Robbins is exiled to a placed called “Absolom,” island prison hundreds of miles off the main land. The island is where they send the worst prisoners to live out their days in exile. Unbeknownst, Robbins is caught in the middle of a tribal conflict between the ‘Outsiders’ who are savages that live in the jungle and are led by the sociopathic Walter Marek (Stuart Wilson) and the ‘Insiders’ who are a cooperative autonomous community living a life of peace and purpose led by a terminally ill doctor called the ‘Father’ (Lance Henriksen). Robbins assists the ‘Insiders’ repel an attack from the ‘Outsiders’ and is asked by ‘Father’ to join the community. He refuses and intends to find a way to escape Absolom even though no one has escaped the island and lived to tell about it. The rest of the supporting cast includes Ernie Hudson, Kevin Dillon, Ian McNeice and Michael Lerner.

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“No Escape” is based off the 1987 novel “The Penal Colony” by Richard Herley. The film got mixed reviews upon its released and only made $15M out of a reported $20M budget making it a flop. Just because a movie flops at the Box Office doesn’t mean it’s a complete failure. I first saw the preview for this movie back in 1994 when I was nine years old. I stumbled upon the film later in life on Netflix. When I saw it was available to stream it refreshed my memory of the preview and gave it a shot. I went into the movie with little expectations, but after watching it, I felt the movie was a rare gem. There’s so much about this movie I enjoyed. Let’s go ahead and break it down.

First is the story. It’s nothing original as you can compare it to any other prison escape film, but it merges with elements of tribalism, authoritarianism and hope to make it compelling. What makes the story fresher is how likable the good characters are despite their alleged crimes for which they are banished to the island for. It’s reminds me of a line that Tim Robbins says in “The Shawshank Redemption” when replying to Morgan Freeman’s question as to how he ended up in prison with, “I’m innocent along with everyone else here.”  The movie sets up Robbins as a detestable character for what he had done. He was a Marine who killed his superior. You don’t know the reason why a man who served his country would do such a thing to one of his own. You find out later the reason for it and you sympathize with him even if it was still the wrong thing to do.

Next is the settings. We start the movie in a giant Level 6 prison that is surrounded by an endless windstorm. The industrial cold environment sets the tension between Robbins and the Warden. When Robbins is banished to Absolom, we get this beautiful spacious island with breathtaking views and luscious jungles where you have the freedom to do what you want. The island portion of the film was shot in Queensland, Australia. It does give the audience a sense of peace, happiness and hope as they are emerged in this environment. Heck, it makes me want to join up with the ‘Insiders’ and live a peaceful life where you contribute to the community, you’re far away from civilization and you don’t have to worry about money or bills!

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Third is the acting. There are some great performances from each character. Obviously, Ray Liotta is the star of the movie. I was surprised that he would take on a role like this given his resume and that he is mostly a dramatic actor. Liotta has always played a character of some authority whether it is a law enforcement officer or a gangster.  Of course, we all know him from his iconic portrayal of Henry Hill in Martin Scorsese’s mob classic “Goodfellas.” He played this role with enthusiasm and dedication. He starts off as this cold loner with the only goal of getting off the island. As the movie progresses, so does his feelings. While he still wants to get off the island, he finds compassion among the ‘Insiders’ and confines with ‘Father’ with what he had done to land him in prison in the way a Catholic goes to a priest to confess his sins. Liotta had not only the acting chops, but the brains and stamina as many scenes where he is fighting with the ‘Outsiders’ and using instinct and the land much in a sense as Rambo to subdue his pursuers. I loved everything Ray Liotta has done, this is in my top three favorite performances of his.

Another all-time favorite actor of mine is Lance Henriksen. His performance as ‘Father’ is a natural fit for him. His namesake is that of a man carrying for his children. In this, the people of his colony are his children and must do everything in his power to protect them. Henriksen has played a diverse role of characters throughout his career. This performance has similarities to his most known role portraying the android Bishop in the “Alien” movie franchise.

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The third most notable performance of this movie goes to Stuart Wilson, who plays the antagonist Walter Marek. Stuart Wilson is not a household name, but if you’re a movie buff, you may remember him from playing other villainous roles such as playing the main villain in “Lethal Weapon 3” and one of the villains in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III!” The villain role suits him well. Marek is a sociopath who is looking to dominate all of Absolom and enslave the ‘Insiders’ under the laws of the jungle. He takes over as de facto leaders of all the jungle tribes. Wilson gives a weirdly amusing performance full of laughs, jokes and downright brutality.

 

“No Escape” has the right amount of action that it doesn’t take over the rest of the movie. There’s enough explosions and battles to keep you on the edge of your seat. There are several shots including Liotta jumping off the waterfall that would be used again in director Martin Campbell’s follow up film “Goldeneye!” Campbell is an underappreciated filmmaker. He knows how to create action movies when he’s given the chance. He is one of three directors to direct multiple installments of the James Bond series.

If you’re looking for an under the radar action/sci-fi flick, look no further than “No Escape!” I’ve said previous that this is a rare gem flick and it still is. It doesn’t need over the top action nor an over preachy story to be enjoyable. If you’re lucky to find a copy of the film online or in your local video store, it is worth the money.  It’s a perfect flick to watch on a Saturday night with a buddy or two.

 

TRIVIA (Per IMDB)

  • Throughout the entire movie, there is not one single female character. There are only male characters.
  • The film is known in other countries as “Escape from Absolom”.
  • Filmed in Far North Queensland, Australia.
  • Ray Liotta agreed to take the lead role of Robbins, because he had always wanted to do an action movie, where he played a heroic character.
  • 400 extras played The Outsiders.
  • Most of the extras were European backpackers from local backpacking hostel’s in and around cairn’s north Queensland.
  • A special rig was set up for Ray Liotta’s stunt double, for the sequence which Robbins is shot in the neck by poison darts and falls into the water below, allowing the camera to follow the stunt performer as he falls.
  • After production was complete on the film, Martin Campbell was hired to direct the 1995 James Bond film “Goldeneye” and later, the 2006 reboot “Casino Royale”. “Goldeneye” bares some similarities with this film: The Goldeneye satellite, Bond getting shot with a tranquilizer dart, Boris Grishenko secretly working for Janus, Natalya taking over a helicopter and Alec Trevelyan falling to his death, in the hand to hand combat with Bond

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Don’t Ever Turn Your Back On Me Again

Absolom

Welcome To Paradise

Not In The Mood For An Interrogation

Wipe Your Feet

He Does That With Everyone

If You Like Roadkill

Two Shots Of Your Finest 12 Day Old

Find Forgiveness

Basket Weaving

Warden’s Dry Cleaning

No You Cannot Have My Shoes

I Thought You Were My Friend

Second Prize

We’ve Always Been About Survival

Come And Get It

 

 

 

 

 

 

Evilspeak

 

Evilspeak Poster

Evilspeak

Release Date: February 26, 1982

Genre: Horror, Drama

Director: Eric Weston

Writers: Eric Weston (Screenplay) and Joseph Garofalo (Screenplay and Story)

Starring: Clint Howard, R.G. Armstrong, Joe Cortese, Don Stark

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

 

Happy 2019 dead readers! Here’s to another year! The first year of “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review” has been a success! I again want to thank all of you for supporting the site. Hopefully we can continue to grow and expand our viewing audience. I’ve got plenty of movies to review and I’m looking to find some rare movies that perhaps the reading audiences aren’t familiar with. There will be full of surprises. If you have the following social media accounts, please make sure you follow my pages below:

Facebook – Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review

Twitter – @GPCRMovies

Now that we got that out of the way, let’s kick off the new year by reviewing a movie in my favorite genre. If you haven’t guessed by the numerous reviews including an October special, my favorite genre of movies is Horror. I stumbled upon this movie searching for some rare and unique Horror movies that I haven’t seen yet. It had an appealing cover, but you know what they say, “You can’t judge a book by its cover!” Would it live it up to the cover? Let’s find out. Here is the first “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review” of 2019, the 1982 demonic horror flick “Evilspeak!”

Starring Clint Howard (brother of Ron Howard) in a rare leading role, the film focuses on Stanley Coopersmith, who is enrolled at military school due to the unfortunate deaths of his mother and father. Coopersmith is an outcast at the school. He is constantly bullied by the other cadets, gets berated by the senior personnel and laughed at by the women. The only compassion he receives is from the school chef and a little puppy that he adopts from the chef when he originally planned on letting it die because it is a runt. Stanley is forced to clean the church cellar at the school as punishment (for no clear reason). As he is cleaning the cellar, Stanley stumbles upon a room belonging to Father Esteban, a priest from the Dark Ages who had been banished from his church in Spain due to dabbling in black magic and refusing to renounce Satan. In his room is a book of black magic along with Esteban’s diary. Using a computer, Stanley translates the book from Latin to English where it contains instructions for a ritual called the “Black Mass.” The “Black Mass” would allow the soul of Esteban to return and possess the human being that performs the ritual, in this case Stanley. Stanley calls upon him to exact revenge on those who have mistreated him.

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Directed by Eric Weston (also co-wrote the screenplay) the film also stars R.G. Armstrong as ‘Sarge’, Joe Cortese as ‘Reverend Jameson’ and Don Stark of “That’s 70s Show” fame as ‘Bubba Caldwell’, the lead bully of the gang that torments Stanley throughout the movie. “Evilspeak” was released in only three countries which were the United States, United Kingdom and Japan. The film was banned in the United Kingdom due to its climax and Satanic Themes. It was cited as a ‘Video Nasty’, which was a collection of movies under the UK Video Recordings Act of 1984 that are banned due to its graphic nature or subject matter. It would later be reclassified and re-released in 1987 with three minutes cut from the original release and the text images of the “Black Mass” ritual removed on the computer screen. The film has a cult following (pun intended) and is the favorite film of Anton LaVey, the late founder and High Priest of the Church of Satan.

Throughout his career, Clint Howard has always been a character actor. You will likely see him in every movie his brother Ron Howard has directed. You’ve also seen him in the “Austin Powers Trilogy” as a military radar operator or as Paco in the Adam Sandler comedy “The Waterboy.” He has that distinct look that sticks out like a sore thumb. In this rare starring role for Howard he takes advantage of this by creating a lovable and sympathetic character. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for him. He tries his best going through the rigorous routines of military school only to be harassed by the fellow cadets and the teachers showing disdain for his tardiness and his inability to comply with the rules of the institution. His only sanctuary is the computer lab where he is building a class project with the aid of technology. His only friends are the chef and puppy dog that he keeps hidden from everyone in the church cellar as he spends more time studying the book and being fascinated with Father Esteban’s words. Although we shouldn’t seek revenge in real life, I was cheering for Stanley to get back at the bullies once his soul was possessed by Esteban. The antagonists in the movie were truly the lowest forms of life.

Speaking of the antagonists, there’s plenty of them in this film. Veteran actor R.G. Armstrong was a nice fit as ‘Sarge’ and Don Stark embellished the bully role of pack leader Bubba Caldwell with glee and delight. From Sarge to Reverend Jameson to Bubba Caldwell and his gang, all these people are despicable and nasty. I understand that you need to instill discipline on those who act out or misbehave, but some of the punishments in the film could be considered excessive in today’s world. They embarrass and humiliate Stanley every chance they get throughout the film. As a big believer in karma, they get theirs in the end.

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“Evilspeak” is not an original concept. Many have compared it to “Carrie” even calling it the male version of the horror classic. There are numerous similarities between the two films. There’s a lot of holes in the screenplay leaving many questions unanswered. The overall theme of the movie is how far does one get pushed to the point where they seek revenge? It’s a humanitarian struggle for Stanley. As he dives more into the book and translates the passages, the more intrigued and curious he becomes. He continues down a dark path where there is no return. His view of redemption is by killing those that have made his life miserable.

The pacing is slow as it spends ninety percent of the movie building up the characters until the climax where everything is moving fast as if the filmmakers were given a time limit to complete the last act. The makeup and effects are dated for its time. And if you pay attention closely, you could see a dummy or two during Despite these flaws, I think it’s a technically good film that gets as much out as it could on its reported $1M budget. It’s not a slasher film in any sense so don’t expect to see a high body count, but there’s just the right amount of gore to appease the fans.

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What makes “Evilspeak” work is how relatable it is today. Bullying continues to be a problem in schools today and with social media being a regular outlet for impressionable young people, it makes it worse when they post pictures or say mean comments about someone they like for reasons known only to them. The kids that are bullied end up taking dramatic and consequential actions such as hurting people or hurting themselves. No kid should have to go through life feeling miserable, sad or wishing they were never born. They should be enjoying their youth by having fun. Although this isn’t a movie to show kids about the effects bullying has, but it puts things in retrospect since we all have been a bully or have been bullied sometime in our lives.

If you enjoy low budget horror films that are simple and straight to the point, “Evilspeak” may be right up your alley.  Even if it’s the same old story told, and you are seething with anger over the characters, there is enough cheese going on that it can brighten your mood. Sometimes that’s all you need in a horror movie to prevent it from being all doom and gloom.

TRIVIA (Per IMDB)

  • According to Clint Howard, one night after shooting a scene he drove home while still wearing his bloody cadet outfit. He stopped at a light and noticed a woman staring at him from a nearby car, so he turned and smiled at her, and she responded by immediately locking all of her car’s doors.
  • Clint Howard and Don Stark agreed not to socialize during filming so that they could maintain the hostility that existed between their characters.
  • Previously banned in the UK as part of the infamous “Video Nasty” list during the 1980s.
  • The title “Evilspeak” was derived from the phrase “computer-speak”, a term used to describe the shorthand used by computer specialists for the otherwise complex. In the film the protagonist uses computers to summon evil spirits.
  • One of the prosthetic heads was accidentally made too tough for the decapitation scene it was intended for, and when Clint Howard struck it with the sword to his embarrassment it merely bounced off. Frustrated, he found a large sledge hammer then took some time to practice swinging it around until the added weight made wielding the sword seem easy by comparison, and when the scene was shot again he finally took the head off.
  • According to Clint Howard and director Eric Weston, the original cut of the film which he submitted to the ratings board contained even more footage than the uncut DVD release, including more special effects, as well as extensions of the bathtub death scene and the cadet having his heart ripped out. But their labored efforts to find a copy of this version have proven futile, and they believe it is likely gone forever.
  • Actor R.G. Armstrong was offered a choice between playing Sarge and Colonel Kincaid before assuming the role of Sarge.
  • The computer used by Stanley in the film is an Apple II, which was a very popular brand of computer at the time the film was made.
  • Richard Moll plays Father Esteban, the priest sentenced to exile for practicing the occult, and is seen performing the Black Mass in the beginning of the movie, two years before making a name for himself as Bull Shannon in Night Court (1984).
  • The production did some filming in a South Central church that had been condemned and scheduled to be torn down. When the aged minister saw that the crew were refurbishing the church, he didn’t understand that this was “show business refurbishing” and that the church would ultimately be burned down, dropping down on his knees and thanking God. Nobody had the heart to tell him the truth.

AUDIO CLIPS