Microwave Massacre

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Microwave Massacre

Release Date: August 31, 1983

Genre: Horror, Comedy

Director: Wayne Berwick

Writer: Thomas Singer (Screenplay), Craig Muckler (Story)

Starring: Jackie Vernon, Claire Ginsberg, Loren Schein, Al Troupe

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Hello readers! First off, again I would like to apologize for the lack of reviews the past month. I’ve been extremely busy with my current place of employment as well as dealing with family matters. I appreciate your patience. With that being said, I thought I would come back to “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review” in a big way. With it officially being the Halloween season, which happens to be my favorite season, I decided to review five horror movies I call the “Guiltiest Pleasure Horror Movies.” Some of these movies have been favorites of mine for a long time and others are ones I’ve recently discovered and enjoyed. The only guideline I had when choosing these was movies was to choose a specific genre of Horror movie for each movie. Which means, I would not review five monster movies. I would review one monster movie, one slasher movie, etc. There’s no boundary as to when the film was released. It could be a horror movie from the 1930s or it could be a recent release. I thought I would start this month long special by first reviewing a low brow horror film. It’s a film in which the subject matter had not been talked about since “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and would come to life in the 90s with the revelation of Jeffrey Dahmer and his crimes. The only difference is that this film gives it a sick comedic twist. Our first film in the “Guiltiest Pleasure Cinema Review” is “Microwave Massacre”!

Released in limited theaters in 1983, “Microwave Massacre” stars Jackie Vernon, best known as the voice of Frosty the Snowman in the old Rankin-Bass holiday cartoons as Donald, a construction worker who is miserable with his marriage and above all, his wife’s cooking. His wife May (Claire Ginsberg) just purchased a new ultra-industrial microwave and wants to elevate her cooking skills by creating some new (and unappealing) dishes. During a fight between the two at dinner, Donald bursts into a fit of rage and strangles May to death. He wakes up the next morning not realizing what had happened and when he opens the door to the microwave he sees May stuffed in there. He panics at first and then has the idea of cooking her. He takes a piece of her and eats it to discover how tasty human flesh is. From there he goes on the prowl finding anyone he can find to be his next meaty meal.

The movie was directed by Wayne Berwick. This would be his only film he directed until 2005 when he directed “The Naked Monster” another off-beat campy movie. This film will appeal to those who enjoy raunchy and campy movies who don’t take themselves seriously. There’s a lot of sleaze, perverseness, wacky and irreverent shtick topped with some cheap blood and gore to keep you sustained for the short and reasonable running time of one hour and seventeen minutes.

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Let’s start with the acting. This was the last acting performance for Jackie Vernon who was known more for standup comedy than acting. His style is in comparison to that of Jackie Mason and Rodney Dangerfield. He delivers his quips in the way of a standup routine. He provides plenty of funny moments despite his morbid nature of what he is doing. He even throws in some fourth wall moments with a wink and a nod to the audience of what to expect. There is some great back and forth between him and his wife. Claire Ginsberg plays May, the nagging and dominant wife of Donald. She berates him at times, but also shows sign of concern such as why he isn’t eating and that he doesn’t know how to enjoy life. Both played it like the stereotypical long married couple from the sitcom days of “All in The Family”. The rest of the characters are fillers including Donald’s construction worker buddies, the indifferent and annoyed bartender, Sam and some random characters like a woman wearing high cut shorts and a store clerk that seems mentally unfit to do his job. The microwave itself is a character in the movie. It looks more like a giant toaster oven than a microwave. It has all these options for cooking food from “Slow Broil” to “Barbecue”. The placement of the buttons is placed in a way like a computer console. The Microwave fulfills Donald’s needs of cooking his new tasty food and with it brings harm to him near the end.

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The props and effects in this movie are hilariously cheap as I’m sure that was Berwick’s intention. You can’t help but to laugh at giant balls of foil stuffed in a refrigerator, a fake crab that is sandwiched in between a giant bun or a human hand being placed on a skewer with vegetables. There’s not a lot of blood in the movie except during scenes where Donald is cutting up his victims or blood that is on his face from eating a raw leg. The images however can make you feel uneasy as you watch him gleefully enjoy his bounty of newfound meat.

I won’t give away the ending, but I felt it was very funny and accurate. It demonstrates the old saying that “Too much of something isn’t good for you”. We must enjoy life’s little pleasures without overindulging and over-consuming. It’s hard to promote that today where gluttony is all around thanks to big portions and mighty food challenges.

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This movie is not for everyone. You need to prepare watching this movie with the lowest expectations you can imagine. By doing so, you may enjoy the movie as much as I did. I was expecting it to be cheap, boring and not have a lot of shock value, but it was the total opposite. I’m a sucker for crude humor and this movie has plenty of that. I think Jackie Vernon was a good choice to play this type of character. The other comedians I mentioned would’ve been great too, but each of them would’ve found this role as a career killer. I think Wayne Berwick achieved what he set out to do with making this movie. “Microwave Massacre” looks and sounds bad, but it transcends into being a fun trash film classic.

And with that, the first film in the special is complete. Stay tuned for the next review in the special. It will be posted sometime next week!

 

TRIVIA (Per IMDB)

  • Final film of Jackie Vernon
  • Rodney Dangerfield was considered for the role of Donald, but his asking salary was too high.
  • Filmed in August and September 1981, but not released until September 1983.
  • Was released on a full-screen unrated DVD by Anthem Pictures in 2006. The front case art trumpeted the film as “The Worst Horror Movie of All Time” and “Uncut/Unrated” as selling points.
  • Director Wayne Berwick makes an uncredited cameo as one of the movers who discovers the faulty wiring in the microwave, which causes the death of Jackie Vernon’s character.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

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Hiatus

Hello everyone!

I apologize for not posting reviews lately.  I’ve been busy with a lot of things: work, vacation, other personal matters.

I wanted to give you a heads up that I’m going to take a small hiatus from posting reviews. I have some personal events coming up in September that need my attention.

However, I will be returning in October to do a month long review special review in lieu of the Halloween season. I’m going to be reviewing my “Most Guiltiest Pleasure Horror Movies”.  I will be dedicating the spare time I have in September to watch and review five horror movies that fit this category. I will post one a week up until Halloween. I’ll be spending the time next month watching, researching, analyzing and of course picking out some hilarious clips.

I want to say Thank you to all you viewers out there. I appreciate all of you who have supported this blog. I hope you have enjoyed reading these blogs as much as I’ve enjoyed writing them.

I’ll see you soon.

Police Academy

Police Academy

Release Date: March 23, 1984

Genre: Comedy

Director: Hugh Wilson

Writers: Neal Israel, Pat Proft (Story & Screenplay) & Hugh Wilson (Screenplay)

Starring: Steve Guttenberg, G.W. Bailey, Kim Cattral, George Gaynes, Bubba Smith, Donovan Scott, David Graf, Andrew Rubin, Michael Winslow, Marion Ramsey, Leslie Easterbrook

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

The eighties brought us a diverse range of Comedy films. The subjects ranged from Teen Comedies, Raunchy Comedies, Supernatural Comedies and the Parody/Spoof Comedies. Some of the films that came out during this period were so successful that not just sequels were made, but an entire franchise. One of the Comedy series that would be born in this era was the “Police Academy” movies.

The idea to make a film about a bunch of outsiders joining the police force in the pursuit of being an officer of the law came from producer Paul Maslansky. Maslansky was producing “The Right Stuff” at the time. There was a group of police cades that arrived to help with crowd control during the filming of a street scene. When the cadets arrived to take their post, they were of many diversities and physicality. They were terrible at the job Maslansky found it humorous. He approached the Sergeant and asked him, “Are these all going to be future San Francisco’s finest?” The Sergeant explained that a new policy came out where the academy had to accept new applicants regardless of race, gender, education, physical stature, etc. The Sergeant went into further detail that the cadets could flunk the course and not become police officers. That was the moment a light bulb appeared and Maslansky wrote a two page treatment that night. He gave it to Executive Producer Alan Ladd Jr., who loved the idea and agreed to develop the movie. They hired Neal Israel, Pat Proft and the eventual director of the movie, Hugh Wilson to write the screenplay and before you know it “Police Academy” was born.

Exactly as it was versioned, “Police Academy” is a comedic look at everyday people joining the force and hoping to have a fulfilling career. There are a handful of characters that are shown in the film. First you have the super aggressive ex military man, Tackleberry (David Graf), you have the privileged Thompson (Kim Cattral), the quiet but towering Hightower (Bubba Smith), the bumbling Barbara (Donovan Scott), The shy and reserved Hooks (Marion Ramsey), the ladies man Martin (Andrew Rubin), the human beat box Jones (Michael Winslow) and the smart ass Mahoney (Steve Guttenberg). All are joining the force either through volunteer or ultimatums. Against the new policy of the Mayor, the police Chief instructs Commandant Eric Lassard (George Gaynes) and Lieutenant Thaddeus Harris (G.W. Bailey) to push the cadets beyond their limits so they will quit. The cadets go through a rigorous fourteen week period of physical training, self defense, firearm training and understanding the law.

The film focuses primarily on Mahoney. After another arrest regarding an incident at his current job, Captain Reed, a former partner of Mahoney’s father, tired of Mahoney’s antics puts his foot down and gives him an ultimatum. Enroll in the Police Academy and complete it or you will be sent to jail. There is a loophole that Mahoney intends to exploit, which is to be kicked out of the academy and not go to jail. As soon as he arrives, he starts to flirt with Thompson and becomes the ire of Harris. After numerous pranks and episodes of insubordination, Mahoney gets his wish to be kicked out. While Harris is on the phone with Captain Reed, Mahoney looks out the window and sees Thompson flirting with him. He starts to reconsider his request to be kicked out and decides to stay through the course and complete it. During his time, he strikes up a friendship with Martin and helps Hightower succeed in completing the driving course which if he doesn’t pass, he will flunk. Hightower eventually gets kicked out after flipping a car over with a cadet inside after he insulted Hooks with a racial epitaph after she accidentally drove over his feet. Bummed about his friend, Mahoney gets picked on by Blanks (Brant von Hoffman) and Copeland (Scott Thomson), two cadets Harris made Squad Leaders to wither out the bad apples in the group and when one threatens to punch him, he is attacked by Barbara in which a fight ensues. Blanks and Mahoney are in Harris’ office explaining what happened. Mahoney stands up for Barbara and claims he threw the first punch which gets him expelled from the academy. Before he could leave, a riot breaks out downtown which causes the cadets to be mobilized as backup for the  rest of the force. Mahoney puts on riot gear and joins the group unbeknownst to Harris. As the riots get worse and the cadets scramble, one of the rioters manages to claim the guns of Blanks and Copeland. He takes Harris hostage on a rooftop and wildly shoots at Thompson. Mahoney races to the top to save Harris, but ends up surrendering his gun as the rioter points his gun at Harris’ head. As Harris and Mahoney are sitting on the roof top, Hightower appears and asks the shooter if he could watch him “kill these pigs!” The shooter agrees and as he is about to squeeze the trigger, Hightower punches him in the face and sends his rolling down a flight of stairs. Hightower saves Mahoney and Harris’ lives. In return for their heroism, Mahoney and Hightower are reinstated to the force with honors.

“Police Academy” was an instant success grossing $8 million on its opening weekend and finished the year grossing $81 million. Reviews were mixed with Roger Ebert giving it zero stars. It was successful that they made a sequel that came out the very next year. The sequel was also a success which triggered another movie and then another movie. The series ended with seven movies, a short lived TV show and a possible reboot which Steve Guttenberg is spearheading.

To say that “Police Academy” is a cult movie is an understatement. It’s one of the funniest comedies in my opinion. Not only that, but it provides moments of morality, decency and dedication. The characters that are supposed to be likeable in the film are likeable and the characters that are supposed to be the bad guys are the bad guys. That’s credit to the writing. The movie has plenty of physical gags, situations and witty dialogue to keep you laughing to keep you going through the film’s 96 minute run time. It’s completely relatable to the real world. You’ll have average Joes that end up joining the force for reasons that are of their understanding.

As I mentioned all the characters are likeable and the credit goes to the cast. Most of the cast were relatively unknown (not sure if Guttenberg was known during this time) and they played their roles with heart and passion. They had great chemistry on screen. Guttenberg being the top billing and the focal point of the story delivers a funny performance as Mahoney. He is witty, a bit of a smart ass and someone who likes to have fun at the expense of others. As you tag along to Mahoney’s journey you see the character evolve as he goes from wanting desperately to be kicked out of the academy to taking the opportunity of doing something meaningful with his life. It shows through his good deeds towards other cadets to his heroism at the climax of the film.  He is equally matched by G.W. Bailey’s Harris, the next great performance. Bailey plays Harris in a manner similar to R. Lee Ermey in “Full Metal Jacket” but with very little vulgarity.  He immediately draws a disliking to Mahoney tries to push him past his physical limitations. George Gaynes portrays Commandant Lassard as a buffoon in a manner to Leslie Nielsen. His best scene involves a situation he gets in when making a presentation and his reaction afterwards. It will be implanted in your memory for a long time. David Graf’s portrayal as Tackleberry is another highlight of the film. Tackleberry is aggressive and sometimes unstable as you will see during his training especially around firearms. It’s funny to see him sleep with a revolver in his hand and spends his free time sharpening his hunting knife. Michael Winslow plays Jones who rarely talks, but rather speaks through sound effects. He plays pranks on some of the instructors such as making the sound of leaves crunching when an instructor is walking to acting like he is talking on the PA and telling Harris to report to the Firing Range. He has some memorable scenes including playing a video game shooter when there is no TV or console and shaving with a plastic blade and making effects to sound like it’s an electric razor. Finally, my other favorite performance is Hightower, played by NFL great, Bubba Smith. He is a man who is quiet, but provides brute physical strength such as knocking down a brick wall during a course where cadets have to jump over it to pulling on a rope only to have the ceiling come crashing down. He forms a bond with Mahoney when Mahoney helps him learn how to drive since he hadn’t driven a car since he was twelve years old. When Hightower gets kicked out for coming to Hooks’ defense, you could see the devastation in his eyes and you feel bad for him because you know he did the right thing.

If you’ve never seen “Police Academy” before I highly recommend you watch it and see what you think. A lot of people will say that this is nothing original or not as funny as perhaps some other cop comedies that have come out, but I think you will thoroughly enjoy it. If you like this film, I would recommend watching the next two sequels, maybe three. I would skip the last two sequels as they seem to have run out of ideas. You’ll laugh, you may shed a tear, or you’ll shed a tear while laughing.

 

TRIVIA

 

  • Director Hugh Wilson stated that when it came time to film the driving scene with Hightower at 4:30 a.m., the actor originally cast as the angry driver was found passed out drunk in the trailer, so Hugh himself ended up playing the role of the angry driver, into whom Hightower crashes.

 

  • When attending his audition, Steve Guttenberg wore an old police shirt belonging to his father Stanley Guttenberg, who was a New York City police officer.

 

  • The location used as the Academy campus was known as the Mimico Lunatic Asylum or variations thereof until 1911, and Lakeshore Psychiatric Hospital from 1964 to 1979. It was acquired by Humber College in 1991, after being mainly used as a site for filmmaking between 1979 and 1991. It is now a renovated and active educational institution.

 

  • Michael Winslow (Jones), David Graf (Tackleberry), and George Gaynes (Commandant Lassard) are the only actors who appeared in all seven Police Academy movies. Winslow even goes a step beyond this, as he is the only actor who not only appeared in all seven Police Academy movies, but also had a regular role on Police Academy: The Series (1997).

 

  • Marion Ramsey was asked to wear a fat suit for her role as Hooks, with the idea that Hooks’ boot camp training would have rendered her slim by the end of the film. Due to time constraints, the scene showing Hooks after her weight loss was removed from the final cut. By the time work on the sequel began, producers changed their minds, opting instead to have Marion remain wearing the fat suit, in order to garner audience sympathy for her character. A brief shot of “slim” Hooks remains in the film, however, as a close-up of Marion without the fat suit is seen during the graduates’ march at the end of the film.

 

  • Billy Crystal, Tom Hanks, Michael Keaton, Bill Murray, Judge Reinhold, Jerry Seinfeld, Robin Williams, and Bruce Willis were considered for Mahoney.

 

  • The only Police Academy movie that was given an R-rating.

 

  • This movie was the most successful film of 1984 in West Germany.

 

  • Steve Guttenberg mentions in his biography, “The Guttenberg Bible”, that Donovan Scott filmed home-movies during filming. According to Guttenberg, there is a “very funny, touching, and unreleased documentary that he made of the shoot.”

 

  • Robert Conrad was offered the role of Commandant Eric Lassard, but turned down the part, which he regretted later on, to the point that he took the part of the Police Chief in Moving Violations (1985) which was co-written and directed by Neal Israel, who also co-wrote this film.

 

  • In the party scene, Tackleberry is seen to play the saxophone. In real-life, David Graf actually was an accomplished saxophone player.

 

  • After early test audiences responded the most positively to Hightower, out of all the characters, Bubba Smith was moved to second place billing, just behind Steve Guttenberg.

 

  • Was filmed in forty days.

 

  • David Graf had to choose between working on this film or Richard Benjamin’s more critically acclaimed Racing with the Moon (1984). When David initially read the Police Academy script, he thought, “What trash”. For three days, he sat and looked at the two scripts. Then, when Warner Brothers made him the offer, Graf said he knew which film was going to make money.

 

  • The Blue Oyster bar used in this movie, is actually called the Silver Dollar Room, located on Spadina Avenue in Toronto. Coincidentally, Spadina Avenue is also home to Protocol Entertainment, the company that produced Police Academy: The Series (1997).

AUDIO CLIPS

My Name Is Bruce

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My Name Is Bruce

Release Date: April 13, 2007

Genre: Comedy, Fantasy, Horror

Director: Bruce Campbell

Writer: Mark Verheiden

Starring: Bruce Campbell, Grace Thorsen, Taylor Sharpe, Ted Raimi

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Bruce Campbell is undeniably the King of B-Movies. He’s catapulted to the top of the genre in large part to his recurring portrayal as chainsaw wielding, boomstick carrying, demon killer Ashley Williams from the ‘Evil Dead’ movies. His career has spanned for over thirty years. In the last ten years he’s had more mainstream appeal largely in part to his role in the Espionage series ‘Burn Notice’ and his return to the Evil Dead world as Ash once again in the Starz TV Series ‘Ash vs. Evil Dead’ (which sadly has been cancelled). Bruce Campbell portrays characters that make the audience feel like they are a part of the ride. He is not afraid of getting downright goofy as much of his acting was influenced by ‘The Three Stooges’. In 2007, he came out with a movie that pokes fun at not only himself, but his career. That movie was called ‘My Name Is Bruce’.

As the title suggests, ‘My Name Is Bruce’ is a tongue in cheek film about Bruce Campbell, his popularity and the blurred line between fiction and reality. The film is about a Goth teenager named Jeff, who happens to be a huge Bruce Campbell fan. Him and his friend meet up with two girls at an abandoned gravesite in the small mining town of Goldlick, Oregon. Jeff finds a circular object placed in front of what looks like to be a collapsed tunnel. Removing the object, Jeff accidentally summons the spirit of Guan-Di, who is the Chinese God War and an early settler of the town. With Guan-Di unleashed and killing it townsfolk one by one, Jeff decides to track down the one person he believes could defeat the evil spirit…..yep, you guessed it. Bruce Campbell.

While the events in Goldlick are happening, Bruce is in a movie studio shooting a sequel to the B-Movie Sci-Fi film ‘Cave Alien’.  Frustrated by the lack of quality roles, being turned down by women and crushed over a divorce, Bruce threatens to fire his agent, Mills Toddner (played by Tem Raimi in one of three roles he plays in the film). Mills tells him that he has a surprise for him on his birthday. Bruce shrugs it off and heads back to his trailer for a night of drinking and calling his ex wife. Bruce hears a knock on his door and Jeff appears. He asks him to come with him, but Bruce refuses. Jeff resorts to knocking him out and putting him in the trunk of his car. Jeff drives back to Goldlick and lets Bruce out. After Bruce gives a lecture to the townsfolk about kidnapping a movie star, he is informed by Jeff that he called his agent and was told he was free. Bruce believes that this is the surprise Mills was talking about and believes he’s part of a new movie. Bruce plays along with it unbeknownst that the townspeople are serious.

After a hero’s welcome that is filled with food and drink, Bruce leads the townspeople to the cemetery. There he encounters Guan-Di. Realizing that this is not a movie, Bruce tells the people to retreat. From there he cowardly escapes from the town to let the townspeople deal with Guan-Di. The next morning Bruce receives a call from Jeff saying that he is going to fight Guan-Di himself since he is ultimately responsible for releasing him. Now Bruce must decide if he wishes to help Jeff or let him deal with the spirit himself.

This film is hilarious. While this will appeal to the most diehard Bruce Campbell fans, I think viewers who aren’t familiar with him or his work will get a kick out of this. There’s plenty of jokes that will keep the average comedy movie fan in their seats.

You can tell throughout the film that Bruce Campbell enjoys parodying himself. The fact that he depicts himself as an arrogant, cocky, selfish, womanizing and drunken actor who lives in a trailer and is getting burned by horrible acting parts. It’s the polar opposite of the typical Hollywood actor. You get into his head of what he deals with on a daily basis from crazed fans to slimy agents. He doesn’t skip a beat with his line delivery, his physical expressions and his candor. He does show a moral compass during the film as he gets to know Jeff and his mother, Kelly whom he immediately has an attraction for despite her shunning his advances and thinking he’s nothing more than a phony.

The rest of the cast is pretty small as it primarily centers around Bruce and the relationship he builds with Jeff and Kelly. Grace Thorsen plays Kelly. She turns in a decent performance although it didn’t find her convincing that she immediately felt an attraction for Bruce especially after berating him about he thinks the situation is a joke to him, but to the townspeople it’s not. Jeff is played by a kid named Taylor Sharpe. This is his only acting performance to date (according to IMDB). I can see why it’s his only performance. He definitely plays his role like a newcomer.  He sounds dull and not too concerned about what has happened. The character of Jeff itself is strange. One minute he is all dressed up as a Goth kid and then the next he’s a regular kid blending in with the town. Eventually his Goth persona would become his hero alter ego when he makes the decision to battle Guan-Di.  I will give him props for knowing his Bruce Campbell trivia and his collection of Bruce Campbell memorabilia in his room. Other than Campbell, the other best performance of the film goes to Ted Raimi who plays three different characters. Besides Mills Toddner, he plays the town painter who gripes about having to change the population number of the town and uses lazy methods to change it and he also plays Wing, the last descendent of the original Chinese immigrants that founded the town. Radical leftists will more than likely cry that his performance stereotypes Asians, but I didn’t see it that way. I found it funny that he warns the people about Guan-Di and begins to taunt them. He only appears in a couple scenes, but he would provide something that will help them in the battle with the Chinese God of War.

Speaking of Guan-Di, I think it was an interesting monster that Bruce had to deal with. He looked like a giant puppet that dangled on strings. I’m pretty sure it was the film’s intention to make the monster look cheap as it fits in with the B-Movie concept. Nevertheless it was good to see a little innovation in the bad guy and not make him another vampire or zombie.

After watching this film again, I would easily place this in my Top 10 Bruce Campbell movies. Yes, this film will largely appeal to his fan base, but there are those out there that will enjoy it if they are a fan of B-Movies. If you can show this movie to someone who has never seen a Bruce Campbell movie, you might be able to turn them into an immediate fan. If you’re able to do that, then it will be a testament to the power that this film really has.

TRIVIA (According to IMDB)

  • The exteriors for the town of “Goldlick” were actually shot on Bruce Campbell’s property where a back lot was built with the exteriors of all of the buildings. The interior shots were all done on a sound stage.
  • According to the DVD commentary, most of the Bruce Campbell memorabilia in Jeff’s room was real, including a spare Brisco County Jr. costume that Campbell owned. A few fake items, such as a poster for “The Stoogitive,” were made to fill up space.
  • There are many mentions and references to Bruce Campbell’s other films. Examples are phrases ‘sugar baby’, ‘groovy’ and ‘boomstick’ along with name checking of people like Sam Raimi (director of the ‘Evil Dead’ trilogy).
  • The rude man in the wheelchair was based on a real person Bruce Campbell met

 

AUDIO CLIPS

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey

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Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey

Release Date: July 19, 1991

Genre: Adventure, Comedy

Director: Peter Hewitt

Writers: Chris Matheson & Ed Solomon

Starring: Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, George Carlin, Joss Acklund

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

In 1989 movie audiences were treated to a new original concept adventure movie about the fate of the future lying in the balance of two high school musicians passing their history exam. That movie was called “Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure”. It was a surprise success that not only launched Keanu Reeves into a mainstream star, but it also spawned a cartoon show and a sequel. Recently, both stars Reeves and Alex Winter appeared on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and announced that a third movie was officially in production. It would be the first time in twenty-seven years since we last saw the two rockers from San Dimas. With the news I decided to go back and watch the second film in the series, which was 1991’s “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey”.

The movie takes place five years after the events of the first movie. A man from the future by the name of DeNomolos has created two evil robot versions of Bill & Ted and sends them back to their time to disrupt the next phase in their destiny, which is winning the Battle of the Bands and being one step closer to the Wild Stalyns changing the world with their music. The present day Bill & Ted continue to struggle at being good musicians, even with the help of their other band members, their girlfriends they rescued from 15th Century England. They encounter their evil doppelgangers when they arrive at their apartment and tell them that they are here to help solve their problems. Instead they take Bill & Ted to a desert and throw them off a cliff killing them. Now in a state of limbo, Bill & Ted must figure out a way to come back to life and stop the evil robots from accomplishing their mission. After two failed attempts at warning their parents about what happened, they are banished to Hell where they go through trials from their childhood until they are confronted by the Grim Reaper who states they can return to the physical world if they beat him in a contest. After defeating Death in a contest……or in the case several contests, they go to Heaven and ask God for assistance in beating the evil robots. They are directed to a creature named ‘Station’ who is considered the most brilliant scientific mind in the universe. With Station’s help, they create two good Bill & Ted robots to counter the evil robots. They return to earth just as the Battle of the Bands begin and engage in a confrontation with the evil robots and DeNomolos for the fate of the future.

The sequel was as successful as the first movie, but fans are divided as to which of the two movies was better. Some fans believe “Excellent Adventure” was the superior of the two. Other fans believe “Bogus Journey” was the better film. After watching the film, I think “Bogus Journey” is on an equal peddle to “Excellent Adventure”. I would use the analogy in another Keanu Reeves movie, “The Matrix” to describe the two. They are two radically different films, but when they are put together they equal out. It’s a great idea to go from Bill & Ted having a positive and “Excellent” adventure to having a negative and “Bogus” journey, hence the equal concept.

The story is good although I think the script could’ve been fleshed out a little more and could’ve used a better third act. Reading the Behind the Scenes of this movie, writers Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon admit that the original third act was ripped up and they were struggling to come up with an act that would satisfy viewers and bring the story of Bill & Ted full circle. I’m not sure what the original third act entailed with the exception of a trivia note at the bottom. With the exception of a few returning characters the only other reminiscence of the first film that are shown in the second are the phone booth which is found in only a few scenes and you get a glimpse at the future where is a harmonious utopia thanks to the protagonist and their music.

The only returning characters in the second film are Bill, Ted, Ted’s father, Missy and George Carlin, who reprises his role as Rufus, although his role has shrunk from the first film. All the other characters are new. Keanu Reeves and Alex Winter play dual roles as not only the dim-witted heroes, but the evil robot versions of them. The evil robots are stronger and smarter, but they are programmed to speak and act just like their human counterparts which I found funny. Their master DeNomolos, played by legendary character actor Joss Acklund I found to be a very weak villain as he appears only in the opening scenes, a few scenes where he is checking up on the robots’ statuses and the final confrontation. Not much is known about DeNomolos other than the fact he was Rufus’ old teacher and that he despises the society that Bill & Ted have created and goes on a crusade to destroy them so he can reshape the future into his ideals, which could be perceived is having a Marxist ideology. Acklund didn’t have much to work with and his acting and body language gave me the impression that he didn’t want to be in this movie, which is a shame. I’m sure he was thinking to himself, “How do I go from playing an evil South African diplomat in “Lethal Weapon 2” to playing a villain having to babysit two robots in “Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey?” I guess we’ll never know what his mindset was.

The real star of the film and without question the best performance goes to William Sadler who plays the Grim Reaper. His portrayal of Death starts out serious and then goes completely one-eighty when he spends more time with the heroes. When Death first encounters them just as they died, he is prepared to take them into the afterlife, but they distract him and give him a “Melvin” in order to escape. It’s only when they are in Hell that they summon Death and accept his challenge of playing him in a game to return to Earth (I won’t tell you what game or games they play, but they were my favorite scenes of the film). When Death joins Bill & Ted he becomes more of a nuisance rather than a helper. He’s always looking attention and feels left out when Bill & Ted don’t give him credit for things that he supposedly did. The accent Sadler uses is Slovakian which gives him range and power, but also makes it funny especially when during his angry outburst moments in the film.

As far as the rest of the film in terms of special effects and settings, it’s interesting to see the film’s vision of the future where everyone wears highlighter colored clothing which reflects well with the lighting in their classrooms. You see a small glimpse of Evil Bill and Evil Ted pulling their skin off to reveal their robot form which is colorful and high-tech for the time and the vision of Hell in the film is depicted as a never-ending industrial corridor with infinite doors and the Devil instructing the damned to “Choose their Eternity”.

“Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey” is one of the few sequels out there that matches up to its predecessor. Matheson and Solomon rolled the dice and took their chances of not repeating the same concept of the first movie and it paid off. Watching it again after all these years, it holds up strongly in comparison to other sequels that came out in the early 90s. I’m looking forward to seeing what the third film has to offer. Hopefully it will be a great finale and send off Bill & Ted into movie immortality.

 

TRIVIA

  • The guitar solo before KISS’ “God Gave Rock And Roll To You”, is performed by guitar legend Steve Vai. The footage had already been shot, and the world premiere was a week away, when he was asked to do it. He also contributed various music in the film, including “The Reaper Rap”, which features on the end credits.
  • When Bill and Ted go to Missy’s séance, you can see Chris Matheson and Ed Solomon, the creators and writers of Bill and Ted. They’re the only men that are attending the séance. (Chris is the guy with the white shirt, and Ed is the guy with the glasses.) They also say “Ed and Chris rule the world” backwards
  • The original title was “Bill and Ted go to Hell” but was changed because of American objections to the use of the word “hell”.
  • The “Riddance of Evil” book that Missy uses to send Bill and Ted to Hell, is actually a re-dressed copy of the Stephen King short-story collection “Four Past Midnight.” She opens it to a page in the story “Secret Window, Secret Garden,” which can be read clearly in a few frames of the film.
  • During the séance scene, the chant to send Bill’s and Ted’s spirits, can be read backwards as “Ed and Chris will rule the world.” Ed Solomon and Chris Matheson being the movie’s scriptwriters.
  • The mountain, to which Bill and Ted are brought to be killed by the evil robots, is the same mountain Captain Kirk climbs in Star Trek: Arena (1967), which Bill and Ted watched in their apartment.
  • Joss Ackland said in a Radio Times interview, he only did this project, because of a bet between him and a family member
  • In a deleted sequence, the Evil Robots use devices to re-create Bill’s and Ted’s’ personal Hells (Granny Preston, the Easter Bunny, and Colonel Oats) and send them after the heroes. Bill and Ted end up having to face their fears to get rid of them. Bill gives Granny her kiss on the cheek, Ted calls his brother and apologizes for stealing his Easter candy, and both boys treat Oats with kindness and friendship rather than terror.
  • Director Peter Hewitt has a cameo in the film. He plays the smoker in the Builder’s Emporium to whom Death says, “I’ll see you soon.” In the cast credits The Smoker is credited as “Max Magenta”.

 

AUDIO CLIPS

 

The Rookie

 

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The Rookie

Release Date: December 7, 1990

Genre: Action, Comedy, Crime

Director: Clint Eastwood

Writers: Boaz Yakin, Scott Spiegel

Starring: Clint Eastwood, Charlie Sheen, Raul Julia, Tom Skerritt, Lara Flynn Boyle

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

While Buddy Cop movies have been around since the dawn of film, they didn’t start becoming commercially successful until around the seventies. Some of the more memorable duos include Richard Pryor/Gene Wilder, Mel Gibson/Danny Glover and in today’s Buddy films, you could argue Kevin Hart/Ice Cube or Jonah Hill/Channing Tatum. Then there are those that didn’t pair well like Chevy Chase/Jack Palance, Jay Leno/Pat Morita, Burt Reynolds/an eight year old boy. As the nineties began, you saw more offbeat pairings. One of those offbeat pairings included Hollywood legend Clint Eastwood and Hollywood Bad Boy Charlie Sheen (Yeah never in a million years did I think that would be possible). Both appeared in the 1990 film “The Rookie”.

Like all Buddy Cop movies this movie focuses on two cops with very different and conflicting personalities who are forced to work together to solve a major crime. Sheen plays David Ackerman, a rookie cop who is assigned to the LAPD’s Robbery and Auto Theft Division. He is partnered with Eastwood’s Nick Pulovski, a rough wisecracking Sergeant Detective who uses tactics against police procedures to get what he needs to put the bad guys away. David gets thrust into Nick’s case involving a car theft ring that is run by a man named Strom, played by the late great Raul Julia. In addition, Strom is responsible for killing Eastwood’s original partner. Throughout the film, David gets cold feet when it comes to helping Nick. It’s attributed to not only his family background, which he comes from money and power as portrayed in a dinner party scene, but also a post traumatic episode involving the accidental death of his brother when they were children and feeling responsible for it. During a tip from an illegal wiretap, Nick and David head to a local casino where Strom is attempting to steal $2 million dollars to pay his creditors due to Nick constantly disrupting his business. During a search, Strom’s right hand woman slowly walks towards David. David has his gun pointed at her threatening her to stop or he will shoot. He hesitates and allows himself to be shot and Nick being taken hostage by Strom. David is put on leave from the department due to his cowardice and allowing his partner to be taken. Strom demands the money within twenty four hours otherwise he will kill Nick. David, feeling guilt and tired of being afraid hunts down Strom’s associates in order to find where Nick is in time before the police decide to pay up.

I first encountered this movie during a night flipping through channels with my father several years ago. It appeared on one of the major film channels you can get on cable or satellite. The film was already playing, but we decide to check it out. We turned it on and the first scene we see is Eastwood giving a local news interview on a junkyard search and seizure. In typical Eastwood humor, he begins a profanity laced taunt at the criminal he is after. My dad I instantly cracked up and continued to watch the film all the way through. After the movie, we both agreed that it was a fun flick with loads of action and humor. Recently, I shopped at the place where I do all my movie shopping and found “The Rookie” on DVD for a mere two dollars. I instantly picked it up. I watched it in full for the first time over the weekend and I enjoyed it as much as I did the first time around.

Clint Eastwood’s performance in this movie is a carbon copy of Dirty Harry, not like that’s a bad thing. From the physical gruffness and aggressive tactics to the smart ass comments, Eastwood doesn’t skip a beat. When Eastwood gets paired up with Sheen, he’s not amused to the fact that he has to “babysit” this rookie. He keeps his pursuit of Strom close to his chest, not revealing too much information to his new partner.

Charlie Sheen’s performance was pretty mellow, but I think he nailed the character of David Ackerman, a rookie cop who is getting more than what he bargained for when joining the force. He becomes a burden to Eastwood due to his inexperience and the fact that Eastwood has to bail him out on several occasions. Besides the things I mentioned about Ackerman in the beginning of the review, he also has to deal with his girlfriend (played by Lara Flynn Boyle) who is finishing law school. He feels his job is beneath to what she will become. He does gain Eastwood’s admiration in the film when he helps him fix his motorcycle. You will see in a couple scenes how good Sheen is at fixing things. This is in part to Ackerman’s degrees in Engineering and Economics as mentioned during the party scene. Other than that he struggles to build Eastwood’s trust in him. The botched arrest of Strom along with the kidnapping of Eastwood becomes Sheen’s turning point. When he faces his fears and stops blaming himself for the tragic events of his childhood, he learns from his subordinate and does what he can to find his partner even going as far as breaking up his dad’s meeting to confront him.

The last great performance goes to Raul Julia playing Strom. He is cunning at first when things go as planned. As the movie progresses and Eastwood thwarts his criminal business, Strom becomes angry and determined.  When he kidnaps Eastwood, he gains leverage over the cops and devises a way to get his money and take out his enemy at the same time. The only gripe I have about Julia’s character is that he is supposed to be German. Raul Julia is Puerto Rican. It would’ve made more sense to change the character of Strom to a different nationality, but that shouldn’t take away from his performance.

A Buddy Cop film wouldn’t be complete without loads of action. There’s not a lot of shootouts in this film, but there are quite a few chase sequences. There’s one shortly after the beginning of the film, a chase scene involving Sheen and a motorcycle and a chase scene at the climax. The film does a good job of changing the chases so that they’re not repetitive as in car chase after car chase after car chase. All these chases were performed by stuntmen at the physical shooting locations. The explosion effects were also done on location without the use of any blue or green screens which brings a sense of authenticity. One particular scene was done in one take due to the fact they did not have the means to keep doing take after take. It’s incredible what these stuntmen put themselves through to create an entertaining picture. They are the real heroes in the movie industry.

The film does have its flaws. The film doesn’t divulge into Sheen and Boyle’s relationship. She appears in only a handful of shots and one important scene of the film. The same goes with Sheen’s parents. While you know he comes from luxury, you really don’t know much about his dad’s business. One of the more controversial moments in the film is when Strom’s right hand woman is toying with a tied up Eastwood. As she speaks to him and slashes his forehead with a razor, she turns on a video camera and begins to rape him. Was it something she did with all her male victims? Did she see something in Eastwood she found attractive such as his boldness or the fact when she gave him a drink of water he proceeded to spit it at her face? I didn’t think it was necessary especially since you didn’t know anything about her other than she’s a trusted accomplice.

The movie’s run time is two hours on the dot, but it doesn’t feel like a two hour movie. It’s pretty fast paced with everything going on. You get immersed with what is going on in each scene that time doesn’t exist.

Overall “The Rookie” is a good Buddy Cop flick. It may not stand out like the “Lethal Weapon” movies, but it is better than most of the recent movies of this genre that have been released. The pairing of Clint Eastwood and Charlie Sheen is still baffling, but it works in this concept if these two could work great together in a Buddy Cop film, who knows what the next great pairing will be? I could see Tom Hardy and Michael Cera in a Buddy Cop flick……..or maybe not.

TRIVIA

  • According to the book “Clint Eastwood A Cultural Production” by Paul Smith, during the early stages of principal photography, actor Charlie Sheen had substance abuse problems. Eastwood reportedly took on a father-figure role in disciplining Sheen into responsible behavior.
  • The film featured over twice as many stuntmen as it did actors. Held the world record for the biggest ratio of stuntmen/actors. Reportedly, over eighty stuntmen worked on the movie.
  • Clint Eastwood agreed to do this movie in exchange for Warner Brothers letting him make his personal film project, White Hunter Black Heart (1990).
  • The movie was to be directed by Craig R. Baxley starring Matthew Modine and Gene Hackman in 1988 but the production was stopped by the Screen Actors Guild strike
  • The make and model of the car that Clint Eastwood took a disliking to its color was a lime green Type 85 Lotus Esprit SE. The Lotus Esprit was the car that had become famous for appearing in the James Bond movie The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) and later used again in For Your Eyes Only (1981). In the movie, Eastwood gets to drive the famous James Bond car.
  • According to the article ‘Slam, Bang, Crash, Boom for The Rookie” published in American Cinematographer in January 1991, the movie’s stunt scenes were mostly shot at night with no use of blue screens and with no use of miniatures.

AUDIO CLIPS

Critters

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Critters

Release Date: April 11, 1986

Genre: Sci-Fi, Horror

Director: Stephen Herek

Writers: Stephen Herek (Screenplay), Domonic Muir (Story & Screenplay), Don Opper (Additional Scenes)

Starring: Dee Wallace, M. Emmet Walsh, Scott Grimes, Billy Green Bush, Nadine Van Der Velde, Don Opper, Terrance Mann

 

WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW

Movies that came out in the 80s contained a diverse range of genres. We had horror movies, teen comedies, action packed film and the occasional monster movie. With the success of “Gremlins” in 1984, fledgling production company New Line Cinema looked to creating a movie similar in nature. With the box office success of “A Nightmare on Elm Street 2”, New Line Cinema got out of the red in their financial operation and had some money to invest in more projects. One of the projects that was green lit to be a “sister” film to “Gremlins” was the movie, “Critters”.

Released in 1986 “Critters” is about a group of intergalactic hairball like creatures known by their species name “Krites” that escape from a prison asteroid and use a stolen spaceship to travel to the closest planet that contained the most life for them to feed their bellies, which is Earth. Desperate to stop the Krites from invading Earth and consuming all of its resources, the warden of the prison asteroid dispatches two bounty hunters to track them down and eradicate them. The Krites land in a field in a small town in Kansas called Grover’s Bend. The people of Grover’s Bend are their own characters. You have the Brown family who live on a farm, Charlie McFadden, the town drunk and Harv who is the easily annoyed Sheriff.  Jay Brown and his mischief son Bradley (Brad) head out to the field where they spot the ship crashing. They appear to find some of the herd dead with nothing left of them but their bones. Heading back to the house they encounter one of the Krites who bites several wounds into Jay as well as a poison needle that shoots from their backs, like a porcupine. The Browns become trapped in their home defending themselves against the Critters. Brad risks to find help and comes across the bounty hunters who have taken human forms. He directs the bounty hunters to his home where they see the Krites and begin a melee of destruction in order to kill them all.

“Critters” was a modest hit at the box office generating more that $13 million against a $2 million dollar budget. It would spawn three sequels, which one of them became the acting debut of an unknown kid would become an A- list actor named Leonardo DiCaprio (“Critters 3). It was another franchise New Line Cinema had under their belt with their first being “Nightmare on Elm Street”. There have been talks of a remake, but I’m not a fan of remakes nor would I encourage a remake of this film. The films may look dated and silly, but they’re packed with enough gore and humor to keep your interests high.

The cast is a mixed of veteran character actors and some that are up and coming. The two popular names on the bill are Dee Wallace, who was the mother in “ET” plays the mother in this film and M. Emmett Walsh who has over two hundred credits to his name, is best known for playing a psycho in “The Jerk” and Harrison Ford’s boss in “Blade Runner”. Dee Wallace doesn’t do much except scream and cry through most of the film. Walsh plays Sheriff Harv as a short tempered man who feels the town is becoming a zoo. The film revolves around the performances of Scott Grimes who plays Bradley Brown, the younger of the two Brown children. He is mischievous and always getting into fights with his sister, April. He becomes the hero by risking his neck to escape his house surrounded by the Krites to find help.  Don Opper plays Charlie McFadden, the town drunk and close friend to Brad and believes alien life-forces are trying to communicate with him through his teeth fillings. Opper ends up playing a dual role in this film which he does a good job at. I’ll get to the dual part in a moment. Rounding out the central cast are the bounty hunters. They add just as much humor as the Krites do. The bounty hunters are named Ug and Lee (Ugly, get it?). They are faceless aliens and have transforming abilities. To “blend” in with the earthlings they may encounter, both of them look through a video of Earth and its history. Ug notices rock start Johnny Steele in a music video and transforms into him. Ug and Steele are played by Terrance Mann. Lee struggles to find a form to change into.  A recurring gag in the film is Lee changing into multiple people he encounters. He eventually settles on transforming into Charlie after an encounter with him in a bar. They carry giant cannon guns to blow up the Krites, but instead cause destruction at every location they step in. Even their boss pleads with them about being less destructive.  The bounty hunters would become staple characters of the eventual franchise as Mann and Opper are the only two actors to appear in all four movies. “Critters” includes small appearances from Billy Zane, who plays April’s new boyfriend, a city boy with a nice car and Lin Shaye of “Insidious” fame playing Sal the dispatcher.

The real stars of the film are the Krites. They were created by the Chiodo Brothers (Stephen and Charles) who were known for Claymation, creature creation and puppeteer work. They did a great job designing and moving the Krites. They’re described throughout the film series as “man eating hairballs”, which is true. However, they are very intelligent despite their limitations. They have red eyes, razor sharp teeth and needles that can shoot poison at their prey. They move with the speed and velocity of a cannonball. They crash land on Earth after escaping from a prison asteroid. While they repair the ship, they go off to look for food. They eat anything they come into contact with. The more they feed, the more they grow. You will see one of them in the film turn into a giant with the ability to walk upright like a human being. They come into contact with the Brown family and surround their home causing a “Rio Bravo” like standoff. The Krites are both scary and funny. There are some Three Stooges like moments they get into. One scene shows the Krites tearing up Brad’s room. One of the Krites is trying to communicate with a stuffed ET doll and when it doesn’t answer its questions, the Krite gets angry and bites his head off. Another funny moment is a Krite getting burnt by a small torch Dee Wallace uses and runs to the bathroom and jumps into the toilet.

This was the directorial debut of Stephen Herek who would go on to direct “Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure”, “The Mighty Ducks” and “Mr. Holland’s Opus”.  I think this is a solid debut and one of his best films in his short filmography.  He does some good things technically. For example, most of the film takes place at night, so Herek uses natural lighting from the moon and flashlights to create a dark tense atmosphere for the Browns as they investigate what is going on. He also makes good use of the first person view for the Krites. The camera is hovered above the ground and moves stealthily when they’re in hunting mode and then in a racing mode when they’re attacking or trying to reach their prey. The film has its slow moments, but once the Krites appear, the action and the horror pick up and doesn’t end until the final explosion.

As I mentioned in the beginning this film is very similar in nature to “Gremlins”. I used the term “sister” film because that’s what it feels like. It doesn’t have Steven Spielberg’s name attached to it, but it’s still a fun monster movie flick. It’s simple so you don’t have to worry about trying to compound narratives or hidden messages or symbolism. It’s a movie where you can lay on the couch and absorb what is taking place. The sequels that followed this film have their good moments and bad moments (mainly due to the budget going way down and the distribution being limited). I would put this movie in my Top 100 80s Films of All Time.

 

TRIVIA

  • Corey Burton, who voices the Critters, also came up with their language, which he described in interviews as combining elements of French and Japanese.
  • Terrence Mann performs the song “Power of the Night” as Johnny Steele especially for this movie.
  • This is the second movie (the other being E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial [1982]) with Dee Wallace in which her on-screen son heats up an oral thermometer in order to appear sick to avoid going to school. In E.T. she is fooled, but doesn’t buy it at all second time around in Critters [1986]
  • Don Opper and Terrence Mann are the only actors to appear in all four Critters films. Their characters, Charlie McFadden and Ug, respectively, appear in all four Critters movies.

 

AUDIO CLIPS