Release Date: August 31, 1983
Genre: Horror, Comedy
Director: Wayne Berwick
Writer: Thomas Singer (Screenplay), Craig Muckler (Story)
Starring: Jackie Vernon, Claire Ginsberg, Loren Schein, Al Troupe
WARNING: POSSIBLE SPOILERS IN THIS REVIEW
Hello readers! First off, again I would like to apologize for the lack of reviews the past month. I’ve been extremely busy with my current place of employment as well as dealing with family matters. I appreciate your patience. With that being said, I thought I would come back to “Guilty Pleasure Cinema Review” in a big way. With it officially being the Halloween season, which happens to be my favorite season, I decided to review five horror movies I call the “Guiltiest Pleasure Horror Movies.” Some of these movies have been favorites of mine for a long time and others are ones I’ve recently discovered and enjoyed. The only guideline I had when choosing these was movies was to choose a specific genre of Horror movie for each movie. Which means, I would not review five monster movies. I would review one monster movie, one slasher movie, etc. There’s no boundary as to when the film was released. It could be a horror movie from the 1930s or it could be a recent release. I thought I would start this month long special by first reviewing a low brow horror film. It’s a film in which the subject matter had not been talked about since “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and would come to life in the 90s with the revelation of Jeffrey Dahmer and his crimes. The only difference is that this film gives it a sick comedic twist. Our first film in the “Guiltiest Pleasure Cinema Review” is “Microwave Massacre”!
Released in limited theaters in 1983, “Microwave Massacre” stars Jackie Vernon, best known as the voice of Frosty the Snowman in the old Rankin-Bass holiday cartoons as Donald, a construction worker who is miserable with his marriage and above all, his wife’s cooking. His wife May (Claire Ginsberg) just purchased a new ultra-industrial microwave and wants to elevate her cooking skills by creating some new (and unappealing) dishes. During a fight between the two at dinner, Donald bursts into a fit of rage and strangles May to death. He wakes up the next morning not realizing what had happened and when he opens the door to the microwave he sees May stuffed in there. He panics at first and then has the idea of cooking her. He takes a piece of her and eats it to discover how tasty human flesh is. From there he goes on the prowl finding anyone he can find to be his next meaty meal.
The movie was directed by Wayne Berwick. This would be his only film he directed until 2005 when he directed “The Naked Monster” another off-beat campy movie. This film will appeal to those who enjoy raunchy and campy movies who don’t take themselves seriously. There’s a lot of sleaze, perverseness, wacky and irreverent shtick topped with some cheap blood and gore to keep you sustained for the short and reasonable running time of one hour and seventeen minutes.
Let’s start with the acting. This was the last acting performance for Jackie Vernon who was known more for standup comedy than acting. His style is in comparison to that of Jackie Mason and Rodney Dangerfield. He delivers his quips in the way of a standup routine. He provides plenty of funny moments despite his morbid nature of what he is doing. He even throws in some fourth wall moments with a wink and a nod to the audience of what to expect. There is some great back and forth between him and his wife. Claire Ginsberg plays May, the nagging and dominant wife of Donald. She berates him at times, but also shows sign of concern such as why he isn’t eating and that he doesn’t know how to enjoy life. Both played it like the stereotypical long married couple from the sitcom days of “All in The Family”. The rest of the characters are fillers including Donald’s construction worker buddies, the indifferent and annoyed bartender, Sam and some random characters like a woman wearing high cut shorts and a store clerk that seems mentally unfit to do his job. The microwave itself is a character in the movie. It looks more like a giant toaster oven than a microwave. It has all these options for cooking food from “Slow Broil” to “Barbecue”. The placement of the buttons is placed in a way like a computer console. The Microwave fulfills Donald’s needs of cooking his new tasty food and with it brings harm to him near the end.
The props and effects in this movie are hilariously cheap as I’m sure that was Berwick’s intention. You can’t help but to laugh at giant balls of foil stuffed in a refrigerator, a fake crab that is sandwiched in between a giant bun or a human hand being placed on a skewer with vegetables. There’s not a lot of blood in the movie except during scenes where Donald is cutting up his victims or blood that is on his face from eating a raw leg. The images however can make you feel uneasy as you watch him gleefully enjoy his bounty of newfound meat.
I won’t give away the ending, but I felt it was very funny and accurate. It demonstrates the old saying that “Too much of something isn’t good for you”. We must enjoy life’s little pleasures without overindulging and over-consuming. It’s hard to promote that today where gluttony is all around thanks to big portions and mighty food challenges.
This movie is not for everyone. You need to prepare watching this movie with the lowest expectations you can imagine. By doing so, you may enjoy the movie as much as I did. I was expecting it to be cheap, boring and not have a lot of shock value, but it was the total opposite. I’m a sucker for crude humor and this movie has plenty of that. I think Jackie Vernon was a good choice to play this type of character. The other comedians I mentioned would’ve been great too, but each of them would’ve found this role as a career killer. I think Wayne Berwick achieved what he set out to do with making this movie. “Microwave Massacre” looks and sounds bad, but it transcends into being a fun trash film classic.
And with that, the first film in the special is complete. Stay tuned for the next review in the special. It will be posted sometime next week!
TRIVIA (Per IMDB)
- Final film of Jackie Vernon
- Rodney Dangerfield was considered for the role of Donald, but his asking salary was too high.
- Filmed in August and September 1981, but not released until September 1983.
- Was released on a full-screen unrated DVD by Anthem Pictures in 2006. The front case art trumpeted the film as “The Worst Horror Movie of All Time” and “Uncut/Unrated” as selling points.
- Director Wayne Berwick makes an uncredited cameo as one of the movers who discovers the faulty wiring in the microwave, which causes the death of Jackie Vernon’s character.